Out-door humping spots

Spring Has SPRUNG and So Has HE:
Outdoor Lovin’ – the 10 Best Spots To Scare the Squirrels!

by Mikayla

Ahhhh, the sweet smell of trees blooming and flowers rising from the cold winter dirt! Birdies chirping, squirrels foraging, dogs barking – these are the smells and sounds of SPRING! When spring arrives, people become happier, more joyful and HORNIER!! Spring is the gateway to summer – and warmer weather. Warmer weather is the gateway to outdoor romping! No, I am not kidding! If you have never had sex out of doors then you have GOT to read this article – because there are more outdoor spaces to get down and dirty than you might realize!


Having sex or just fooling around outside is one of life’s most simple pleasures! It gets the adrenaline pumping, revives a stagnant “bedroom only” sex life, and brings nature and au naturale together in the best sort of way! While there is caution to be had when getting naked in the forest, I have always felt it was worth the chance! With the warmer months of May, June and July quickly approaching, I felt it necessary to give the readers of Too Timid a preview of the best places to have sex outdoors! Keep your imagination open, your mind clear and your lover ready for fun – as always, it is sure to be a wild ride!

#10: HOME IS WHERE THE HARD-ON IS
No one said that you HAVE to leave the comforts of your own home to have sex outside – many people DO have BACKYARDS! Having sex in your own back yard is just comfortable enough and risky enough to give most couples a major thrill! Even if you start slow – as in the garage – or IN your CAR IN the GARAGE – you are still out of your bedroom!

Always be cognizant of your neighbors – especially when there are kids – because having sex out of doors is illegal in most residential areas. However, there are ways to skirt this law and still have your fun! If you are one of the few privileged folks with a hot-tub, pool or Jacuzzi outside – TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT! Those bubbles do more than relieve stress, they also HIDE NAKED PEOPLE! Always be aware of nosey neighbors, but technically getting up close and personal in the hot tub is a pretty low risk way to get your outdoor lovin’ time in!

Now, if your neighbors are more than a stone’s throw away, you can afford to be a little more risky. If you have a hammock in your backyard – use it like a sexual cocoon! Climb up on your lover for some slow rockin’ and utilize the general swing of things. Or, even getting down and dirty in your child’s tree house (Bring a blanket of course…ewwwww) can be a real thrill! If you are super daring, just plopping on the lawn furniture can do it for you – and while your ass is cooling in the breeze, other parts are getting HOT!

Wherever you decide to have sex in your own backyard just remember that there are options unlimited for backyard banging and it would be a great idea to start thinking outside the bedroom – and more toward OUTSIDE the realm of your backdoor!

#9: GET IT ON IN THE GARAGE
Similar to the back yard, your garage can be a ROCKIN place to get it going! With car hoods and tool benches to perch upon the possibilities are endless! I have even had a full romp in my Dad’s garage starting with me on a stool, legs spread for oral, then moving to the work bench for some wild finger action, and concluding with us lying on top of my Dad’s car! It was a wild ride for sure!
I am sure there are many guys who would say “no way” to the hood of a car, but hey, there are other places to get your engine revving – just remember to watch out for grease stains – your butt will be black for days!

#8: GO PARKING
Many couples go on date nights to movies or restaurants. While this is all fine and good, there is soooo much more you can be adding to your “date night.” A favorite thing for my hubby and I to do when we are having some coveted alone time is to park our SUV in a darker part of the movie theater parking lot and climb in back for some pre-movie sex! Having this prequel to the main event actually gives us one great thrill, and relaxes us for the movie. Of course, you can make this the encore by doing it after the movie as well.

Similarly, we have parked in various places to have sex. Restaurant parking lots, behind buildings, you name it! We have even done the drive-in movies. Hey, necking is not just for the teeny-boppers you know! Just be mindful of other people around you, make sure you have an escape plan, and remember that your “car will be a rockin’” so make sure it is in a dark area if possible. While sex in cars is not a cop's worst nightmare, there are many who would love to peep in on you – so if you have a vehicle with tinted windows, this would be better.

Wherever you go parking, and whatever you decide to do in your car – blowjobs, oral sex, full on penetration – getting out of the realm of your neighborhood can bring back those fond memories of when you were dating and couldn’t keep your hands off each other! Try it, you will LOVE it!

#7: PARTY LIKE IT IS 1999
Ahhh, spring, the time for BBQ parties and outdoor parties galore! While it will admittedly be harder to find quiet nookie time during a party, there are options for you daring folks who want to get it on in the midst of people!

For example, my in-laws have a big BBQ every June and my hubby and I always attend. They live on a rather spacious plot of land and put up tents and other festive decorations. One tent always buts up against the house and makes a discreet “pocket” of space between it and the house, hidden away by trees and shrubs. We have been known to sneak in there and have some HOT, quick sex!

Why be so risky? Well, the thrill is in the chance of getting caught – and as we get closer to the #1 pick, the risks are going to increase! Just remember, when having sex that close to where people are – be QUIET or your cover (no matter how minimal) will certainly be blown to bits!

#6: APPLE PICKIN’
Have you ever been to an apple orchard? Miles and miles of sprawling apple trees. The smell is delicious, the sight is wondrous and the opportunities are RIPE! While you will most likely have to wait until fall to get to the orchard for picking, some orchards offer tours of the space, even before the apples are ready.

My hubby and I go to the orchard twice every year – once alone and once with our son. When we go alone we almost always end up far away from the main building, nestled between some Granny Smith apple trees - doing the nasty! While you will want to bring something to lie on (rotten apple bits in your ass crack are NOT romantic) – you will be sheltered from peeping eyes, and the surroundings are really magical.

This idea would work well for wineries as well – since the vines offer a natural harbor as you go from isle to isle – but there is often less space to use. The key is, use the wilderness and your surroundings as inspiration and be taken in by the moment, just as my hubby and I do!

#5: GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW!
Ah yes, sex in a bathroom stall! One of my absolute favorites! Now, while technically this is NOT “outside” it is also NOT your bedroom either! Have you ever been to a movie theater and just gotten so horny that you feel you can not wait? Or, have you been out to dinner with your favorite someone and they whisper, “meet me outside the bathroom”? Well, I have had both experiences and let me tell you, they are wild and adventurous!

When having sex in bathrooms it is IMPERATIVE that you pick the right time and place. IF you are in a very busy, child laden movie theatre- this is NOT the time to be having bathroom sex. Discretion is your friend here – and you must remember to be private and not get caught! Restaurant bathrooms are often a better choice, especially if there is more than one bathroom, or if there is only one stall! You can easily lock yourselves in for a 5-minute romp without anyone being the wiser. Of course, when you come out there may be a line of people wondering why there is a man and a woman in the bathroom at the same time!

#4: FORNICATING BY THE FIRE
I will eagerly admit, I am not a “campy” sort of girl. I prefer my nice, clean, city life. However, if you MUST go camping (or if you like it) why not add some seduction to your camp life? My hubby and I went camping a few times before our son was born, and I will admit – while peeing in a coffee can was not my favorite part – having sex under the stars by the campfire was very, very romantic!

We zipped our sleeping bags together, got naked and had a ball rolling around outside by our fire. Now, keep in mind that mosquitoes do not care where they bite so spray yourselves LIBERALLY with bug spray – minding the privates. We didn’t do this and ended up with a million ass bites!

Despite the biting bugs and the howling creatures, I can honestly say those 2 nights were some of the best for us sexually! We did things that made the squirrels go runnin’ and howled ourselves into the moon as we orgasmed over and over! Give it a shot – your next camping trip can be more fun than you thought!

#3: FRIGHTEN THE FISH
Reminiscent of youth, skinny dipping can still be a heck of a lot of fun! Now of course, there are many opportunities to do so in pools – but it is actually more fun if you can do it in a lake. Why? Well, lakes are usually NOT clear, and they provide more protection from peeping eyes. However, on the downside, they also have nibbling fish!

Skinny dipping with your partner can be such a fun reminder of youth – and can really get hot and heavy when the water is high enough to cover yourself up! Just remember, that dirty water inside your cooch can give you a nasty infection. Try to avoid penetration while IN the water – but instead penetrate OUT of the water – like on a pier – and then slink back in. While the chances of you getting an infection are low, the possibility is there. So why not frighten some fish and get wiggly under water?

#2: BROCKBACK MOUNTAIN
Am I suggesting that you guys go get “familiar” with your male friends while camping on a mountain? NO! I am suggesting that hiking into the mountains can be the most ideal place to get it on! Of course, not everybody is going to be close to a mountain – but most areas have hiking opportunities that are very similar to being in the mountains. Also, if you are lucky enough to have mountains near you – take full advantage.

When my hubby and I went to Branson, Missouri they have walking tours of the mountains there. They are very beautiful and can be very private. If you are walking along the trail and find a flat rock, or an overpass that offers some privacy, why not take the route to outdoor loving? Rock absorbs heat and cold and can be a sensory thrill while you are getting it on. Also, oftentimes mountain areas are wooded and simply breathtaking! Taking advantage of natural places like hiking trails is really the way to go if you have some available to you!

#1 – FONDLING IN THE FOREST PRESERVE
In a national poll of the hottest places to have outdoor sex, forest preserves came back the number 1 choice! Why? Well, first they are easily accessible. Almost every community has some sort of forest preserve / walking trail available. Second, it is extremely easy to find a non-beaten path to travel that will most likely lead to a clearing just perfect for outdoor sex.

Most couples find security in forest preserves because they are cleaner, better maintained and oftentimes offer many areas for the secluded sex they are craving. Taking a nice bike ride or walk through the preserves, and stopping in a clearing to pleasure one another can be such a simple treat to indulge in. Of course, you do want to be wary of critters and bugs – especially snakes and spiders. The reason I bring this up here, is because one time my hubby and I were going at it doggy style in a forest clearing and I saw – from my lower position – a slithering snake coming right for us! Needless to say, we cut that day short and got the heck out of dodge! Mikayla does NOT do snakes!

Also remember if YOU know where the clearing is, others probably do also. Be sensitive to sounds and to others on the trail. However, part of the thrill of outdoor sex is the possibility of getting caught – and I for one love that thrill. I have walked in on other couples, and been walked in on also. None of us was tattling on the others so it was ALL GOOD!

GET GOING…
So there you go, the top 10 spots to make outdoor nookie! Now, I hope that this article has inspired you to take your lovin’ outside and to revamp your sex life. While sex in the house is fine and dandy, every couple needs a little wake-up call when it comes to sex. Changing the spots you choose to get romantic can be the single best way to reignite your sex life.

So, the next time you go to a movie or go out to your garage to see your fella – remember these suggestions and start getting down with sex outside. Gosh knows I love it – and I bet you will too!

Mars vs Venus

Do Nice Guys Always Finish Last? Take our poll!
OK ladies, I just have to know…..are you LOST in your love life when it comes to picking the perfect guy?? Many women are drawn to the bad guy over the good guy, especially when it come to casual dating. There is some truth to the adage “nice guys finish last” – especially with women. So, who is the “bad guy” and who is the “good guy” you might ask! Well, in simple terms:
Bad Guy: rough-and-tumble, shaves every other week, wears a lot of leather, long hair, barely has a job, hits on other women when you are out with him, sticks his hand on your ass everywhere you walk, swearing, lying, cheating HOTTIE that you can’t help but love!

Good Guy: the guy your momma would want you to date, wants to wait until marriage to have sex, opens the doors for you everywhere, gives you a chaste kiss goodnight and NEVER asks to come in until at least a proper month has gone by, would NEVER miss a day without shaving (or hair product), responsible job, family car, well-educated, and “GOOD” looking.

Well...how true!!! hahaha.