yes! it is a cold day.

okay....you have made your points and i have made mine. Yes! i do blame myself for getting into this shitty situation but i did it with my eyes wide open. Guess the word "LOVE" is the main issue.....and only those who have loved others before, then can understand what i am saying, writting and what i have just gone thru.
For the rest....who never have been in this situation can hardly know what it was like. Frankly sex is over-rated as far as "LOVE" is concern. And becoz of that, one always hope for a new beginning even after a thunder storm or heavy snow fall. Old things can be replace or reborn as new things.
Yeah....I am going thru this period now, i have gone from anger, denial, acceptence and now a new start. With these clarifiations, i do feel at ease and at the same time, stupid and regret with
what i was thinking all along these 3 weeks. And the needless anger and heavy-hearted feeling I bring to bear on myself when I can easily come out to talk about the issue earlier rather then yesterday. Guess....when "LOVE" is involved and when you are can't bear to lose a loved one, you just suppress any bad or negative feeling inside till it blows up in your face one day. This is what happen here.
I really felt so "bad"....i just don't quite able to put into words for this "tough" period. Yes...now you are angry but if you are understanding enough then you can let this "go", I too promised to be up front with you from now on....no more hinting or guessing, just come out to talk about any issue that may be of concern to you or me.

Got stood up again....shit :(

Fxxked again....by the same excuse. 3rd week in a row....that's truly pathetic. Yes....and you said you cannot please everybody then how am I to feel. Yes....I can feel the sudden tension when your friends boarded my car in the morning. All of a sudden....stillness, so deafening silent until the phone rang.
When you told me....no problem when I asked you, I was so happy. Really believed things were ok and smooth then as I waited for your sms....in my heart, it would be again a huge letdown that was why I sms you instead of waiting further. True enough....fxxked by the same crab. Frankly....I dared not look at the sms immediately, I went into my room to wash up my face hoping the bad feeling from the morning was due to me being too over-sensitive. Shit :( when
I finally saw the sms....my jaw dropped. A thousand crazy thoughts rushed thru my mind......
just can't believe what I saw.
Yeah....talk about trying to please people. Guess I have done a really bad job to deserve all these or worst....I am too pathetic to accept the facts in front of me from the beginning. Even in this blog....even when I truly tried my best to please you. You only once address me....as "d" in your email when we made love a month back then....the small "d" also gone and lately hardly noticed
any comment even from "anonymous". Yeah....maybe I was over-sensitive or petty but I still persisted to do my best to please. Frankly, still....I want my tuition but at the same time I promised that I will try my best to wane off my "addiction" of you. This is to help lessen any more stress on me ( sorry that I am so selfish here ), I only hope you are kind enough to grant me this favor and I....will only need very little of your time each week. And I won't dare to hope for anything more now since very clearly....I have drop too far down the pecking order for your favor or time. From your blog....I really knew I had more competitions but still I guess if I don't ask for much and I tried to please you whatever way I can, you may still go along to entertain me. Now....I know I am kidding myself.
Yes....I still don't want to lose you, that is why....I have this self-control on.

Still on the subject of sex

Personally feel that to truly enjoy great sex....one must have the sense of loving between the 2 doing it. Only with love....then there can be emotional attachment or bonding making sex the link.
If without the above ....then having sex will be for releases only. There won't be any sufficient impact for the two person.
There must be orgasm....better still multi orgasms, or one huge one.....the mother of all orgasm so to speak.
This type of sex is very addictive.....that is why I am so addicted to my honey. She alone can fuck me to death....and frankly I don't mind if that happen. The way we make love is so different but lately....we are just going thru the motive. We must go back to the good old days where anything and everything goes. When we were done ....our legs were soft and would sleep well.....in fact like "coma". That is great sex to me....not the number of times one can screw in a day or how long can one last. Just must perfect timing....or too long or too short.
Yes....one must be creative too or it will be the same boring sex. And if need to use sex aids...then by all means, use them. I have checked all the stuffs and I have got a new one too. I will going to start a brand new journey with my honey soon....hi honey, are you game to go with me on this trip?
It will be a surprise and you must close your eyes.....and have complete trust in me. I will bring you to the next level.