Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I have my tag box back....

Thanks to my honey....I managed to get it done this morning. Felt like I missed an arm without it becoz I cannot get to see my honey's comment in my blog.
Yep....I have always treasured my honey's present and well-being.....and I do it without asking any thing in return from her. I do it from my heart.....that's it without being told by anyone. Once I said I love someone as deeply as I loved my honey....then I meant it as forever and nothing going to change it.
Yes! I can see my honey needs her space....I don't mind to step aside for her to do what she needs to do until such time when she wants to see or meet me again. I guess I have live with that...thought! no other choice at the moment for me. When a person loves someone....I guess he/she is willing to do whatever it takes to see the other person "happy", only then he/she is "happy" too. I am in this situation at the moment, even when "deep inside" of me.....I am confused, felt completely "helpless", "rejected" and "useless" that I am crying inside my heart but then I still hoping against hope that my honey will return in my arms some days....and only hopefully soon too. There is nothing else that I can do....for the moment, I have done what I must do but still the situation is out of my control. Not a day past without me thinking of her.....I do sms, write regularly without fail....no change in my habit. Only if you have love someone as deep as me then you will and can understand the "hell" I have gone thru for quite a while now. If you know what I mean....
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4 comments:

wINtoTo N aLSo 4D...yEAh! said...

No...I am not blaming you for what happening to me. It is all my faults....to love too deeply and passionately. Only to let you know, my total weekly schedule is based strictly on your timing to meet me. I have cancelled many times appointments with friends and clients....even training to ensure my monday and tuesday afternoon is free so that I can be on stand-by for your sms or call to fetch or meet you on any moment notice. Believe me....not a nice feeling waiting for the sms or call that never comes. Lately I got to thank you...you have sms me to inform me tat you are not available. That at least free me...from the pain of waiting. Yes! I know...you told me before not to depend on you or so on. Sorry....like I said, it's all my faults for my own suffering. NO regrets....for having love you still.

9:05 PM
wINtoTo N aLSo 4D...yEAh! said...

This is still happening to my schedule. Strictly base to be able to meet you on Monday or Tuesday.
I don't really know what it takes for you to do in order for me to totally forget about you.........
Yes, I can see you are happy with your family life and children. I am totally happy for you too. See that you said...after your hair cut that it lifted off the burdens that were troubling you for the past few months. I too can understand that....I want to have that too. To be lifted of my own agony....outside I am smiling as usual but inside, crying in my heart for you....I missed you, even a little hug will do "wonders" to me and my spirit.

9:13 PM
wINtoTo N aLSo 4D...yEAh! said...

yes! Frankly I sensed the change of heart in you since the end of last year but but....I was hoping I was wrong and that I was too sensitive. In denial....hehehe. I just cannot put my finger at actually what have happen to "trigger" it. You can see that in my blog....the troubling inside of me ( the crying inside me for your love ) but it was not written for fear it is true!!!

9:20 PM
wINtoTo N aLSo 4D...yEAh! said...

still....all my faults, for things to happen this way. i accepted my suffering and pain in my heart....perhaps for my past what I did to my other lovers. I can feel their pain now....and I am truly sorry for what I must have did to make them feel what I am going thru. Served me "RIGHT" and to my wife too, if she only knows.
Thanks GOD...she didn't so she is "blessed".

9:24 PM

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tO hAVe FuN wiTH mY liFe aND aLsO wAnT mY loVED oNeS tO hAVE tHE SaME tOO. :) bUt iN rEAL LiFe tHaT sHouLd bE sOOn.