Since my last posting till now - update

Have done some stupid things during the time...bid and won countless watches and sunglasses at ebay! and another one....took up a part-time duty only to have more regrets about fault-finding without any pay-off. Guess....one stupid thing after another during this period...lor. Really feeling fxxked without having the actual thing.

Maybe...I will wake-up from this and faced the "truth". And maybe learned to say "no" esp since people have been taking me for being a "push-over" all the time. Always need things done...then I am the man! but when something nice and sweet....I am back at the last row, always last in line.
But I was always thinking for others...esp my loved ones but looking at the situation now. My loved ones are not in the same wave-length as me. Yes....I am too damn pleasing at times but now....hopefully, everyone can understand each other better without the guilt or fault finding that if you want things done your way, you gotto give something in return...not just sweet talk but actual deeds. For too long...I am falling for mere words.

Pau pau for the sake of pau pau....come on, that is the most easiest thing to do now in Singapore esp the inflex of girls due to the hard times around the world. Just pay some money and that is the least of my problem right now.....max to pay for the best is going for about $100 only for some sweet young thing for an hour of fun.

So....why do I do some of the stupid thing meh, it is because I thought I am being helpful, sweet and a soulmate or something and maybe will be rewarded with some loving touches once in awhile but so far....things didn't turn out to be what I thought it would. Now only me...feeling guilty for saying what is REAL FACT here.

What a disappointment....have my life gone from bad to worst....and pathetic?