No matter how I look at it....it is not right!

Just not right....how things turn out to be here.
Still can't understand why we adults practice double, triple or more standard when we are dealing with kids ( children under the age of 20 ) when we ourselves cannot practice what we always preach. How can we still be consider ourselves to be an adult? Don't we better to know what we can and cannot do, there must be a limit....a red line drawn clearly that we must not cross no matter what happen. Or else how are we to set example to our kids.....We must know our "LIMITS" becoz we cannot depend on our parents to guide/stop us as we are answerable for what we do not just to ourselves but to our kids, spouse, family, relatives, friends and those who see us as ADULTs or role models. We are also "as parents", for goodness sake. If you cannot understand this, then it is better you stay at home to become a simple housewife. Remember...this is what you always threaten me with whenever I question you on somethings that I find strange. You would said that "do you want me to be a simple faithful housewife to Mr Tan?" On hind sight....you should do that and things will not be so chaos as now.
True.....everyone love SEX, that included myself....yes, I fuck around and yes, I too screw-up once and I paid the price for it. I was truly sadden to see how my girlfriend suffered by having to accompany her to the abortion clinic and sat with her thru-out the procedure. She even vomitted into my hand and my shirt.....I felt so sicken that I wished I was the one who was laying on that bed instead of her. So sad to see her going thru it....since it was in the 3rd month it has to be done with two visits to the clinic. 1st time to do the injection then the next day the actual procedure.
Till today....I am watching over her as a good friend and will do everything I can if she ever need my help. I am not proud of having done what I did....but I have learned my lesson. Yes! she too wanted to keep the baby but I reasoned that out with her and pointed out to her....that whatever we did, we must not impacted on those innocent ones around namely the baby then our family and her case...her parents. How to tell the baby ( from the scan - a boy ) that he was due to an affair when he asks where and who is his father in future? She agreed....now she is happily engaged to be married soon and having a good job, no one else know about this. Even this.....I dare not said it was due to "true love", yes I still love her but a different kind of way. I won't let everyone bully her that is for sure.
It is the same how I felt for you Sandra....that is why all these "out-bursts/the so called noises" from me but I also know my limit. In my heart, I just don't wish to see any harm befallen on you or the kids even when I know they are not mine. That is why....I can't sleep just keep thinking what is happening to you, how in the future can you say to M & M that himer2 is only your half brother. And how to explain to himer2 that his father is not his real father.
Frankly you really need a strong hand to guide you. An older guy who know better and really have your interest at heart....for you behaved worst than those 16 yrs old students in your school. Have you ever think of this? You lack a father figure in your life.....period!