There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He's always there for
her.
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her
boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see
everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry
me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and
refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying.
"Just take care of my eyes dear."
This is how human brain changes when their status changed. Only few remember
what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A Gift
Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone who
can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who
has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's
crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too
early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires
children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks
the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Do remember that not one of us are without wrong doings or sin.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your
face and be thankful you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift from God. Be thankful. Amen.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Identity theft and prevention
Identity theft is a nightmare for its victims. Your personal data -- Social Security number, credit card numbers, and bank account numbers -- can be stolen by a thief posing as you who uses this information to spend thousands of dollars or more.
The damage goes way beyond money. Identity theft can have a devastating impact on your entire life, destroying your credit score and taking you months or even years to recover from the damage.
Some Surprising Data
The Wall Street Journal recently reported that an estimated 95 million Americans have been exposed to some risk of identity theft in the last two years due to breaches at companies, institutions, and government offices.
USA Today also reported that by year's end there will be 8.9 million cases of identity fraud, resulting in an average loss of $6,383 per victim. This crime is an epidemic, and has quickly become a billion-dollar crisis.
The Javelin Strategy and Research 2006 Identity Fraud Survey Report, believed to be the largest ever on identity theft, reveals some surprising results. Ninety percent of identity fraud in which the source can be determined takes place through traditional means, not as a result of the Internet.
Don't Be a Victim
Lost or stolen wallets, checkbooks, and credit cards account for 30 percent of cases in which identity thieves gain access to personal information. That's right, it's the most frequent way that identities are stolen -- more than online transactions, more than stolen mail, and more than computer hacking.
According to the survey, the No. 1 misperception surrounding identity theft is that consumers are helpless to protect themselves. The truth is that many causes of identity theft are beyond our control. But taking a proactive stance to detect fraud will keep you from being a victim.
Here are six things you need to know to fight back against identity theft:
1. Keep your private information private.
Half of all identity theft in which the thief is identified is committed by a friend, coworker, neighbor, in-home employee, or relative of the victim. So make it a habit not to leave things lying around at home or in the office -- specifically your wallet, checkbook, or anything else containing private or financial information, including your mail.
Also, before you toss anything in the trash containing your private information, be sure to shred it. This isn't new advice, but I'd be remiss not to mention it.
2. Get a copy of your credit reports.
Often, victims of identity theft have no idea their credit is being used or destroyed until they apply for a loan and pull their credit score. So pull your credit report now, and make a plan to check it regularly.
By law, you're entitled to a free credit report from each of the three major credit bureaus -- Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion -- once every year. Go to AnnualCreditReport.com and stagger your requests so that you'll receive one report from each credit bureau every four months. Put the dates on your calendar so you don't forget. Keep in mind that this is for your free credit report only, not your credit score.
For your credit score, you'll need to go to myFICO. While you're there, you may want to check out their Identity Theft Security Deluxe product, which monitors your credit score and credit report automatically for $49.95 a year.
3. Find out if your state has a credit freeze law.
Here's a virtually foolproof way to prevent a thief from stealing your identity and using your personal data to get approved for credit. With this new law you're able to block ("freeze") all access to your credit report and credit score.
It's not necessarily the most convenient solution to protect yourself from fraud. Anytime you need to have your credit checked -- for instance, if you're buying a car or cell phone or even interviewing for a job -- you'll need to lift the block ("thaw" your record), which takes about three days. But if you have real concerns about identity theft or perhaps are already a victim, this is an option you may want to consider.
Some states will only grant a credit freeze if you're already a victim of identity theft. Find out if your state has a credit freeze law, including what it costs, by visiting FinancialPrivacyNow.org.
4. Check your bank statements weekly.
One of the great things about online banking is that you can log on and check your account at any time. Make a point of checking your bank statement weekly to be sure there aren't any red flags.
The same goes for your credit card statements. In fact, you may want to consider canceling your paper statements altogether and opting for online statements. After all, you're more likely to have personal information stolen from your mail than from the Internet.
That said, be sure to always use a secure computer. Using a public computer, like one at your local library, is risky due to tracking software that thieves can use to steal your passwords.
5. Be computer savvy.
Even though a relatively small percentage of identity theft occurs online, you should still take necessary precautions.
In addition to being careful about surfing the web on public computers, you should also be aware of the risks involved when using a wireless connection. Wi-Fi and Bluetooth are becoming increasingly popular, and as a result there's bound to be an increase in wireless hacking.
Wireless connectivity is the perfect platform for thieves to get your personal data. If you have a wireless network at home or work, make sure you're incorporating password-protection and encryption. When accessing public hotspots, use a personal firewall.
Also, keep your computer safe by updating your antivirus and anti-spyware programs regularly. Use passwords so that others can't log on to your computer, laptop, or even your PDA, and be sure to change your passwords often.
Be smart about phishing scams, too. That's when you're sent an email that requests your personal or financial information, or that prompts you to click a link to provide your personal or financial information. If you're unsure of the legitimacy of such a request, call the company that it was supposedly sent from. If an email seems suspicious, it usually is.
6. Be aware of "deleted" data.
The Washington Post recently ran an article on mobile phones -- specifically "smartphones" like the Palm Treo and BlackBerry -- that was quite an eye-opener.
According to the story, resetting your phone to wipe out personal data doesn't exactly delete information. It turns out that your phone's operating system never actually deletes data, only the pointers to where the data is located. Anyone with the right software can recover information that was stored on your phone once you sell or discard it
You need to do is contact the device manufacturer for complete instructions on what to do to wipe your data clean. You can also visit WirelessRecycling.com for instructions. And think twice about what information you store on your device in case it's ever lost or stolen.
If Your Identity Is Stolen
Take the above steps and -- should you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of having had your identity stolen -- you'll commend yourself for being proactive enough to identify a problem before too much damage was done.
Don't waste a minute once you've discovered suspicious activity -- go directly to the website of the Federal Trade Commission to file a complaint and access their comprehensive guide on the steps you'll need to follow to resolve the situation.
Some states will only grant a credit freeze if you're already a victim of identity theft. Find out if your state has a credit freeze law, including what it costs, by visiting FinancialPrivacyNow.org.
4. Check your bank statements weekly.
One of the great things about online banking is that you can log on and check your account at any time. Make a point of checking your bank statement weekly to be sure there aren't any red flags.
The same goes for your credit card statements. In fact, you may want to consider canceling your paper statements altogether and opting for online statements. After all, you're more likely to have personal information stolen from your mail than from the Internet.
That said, be sure to always use a secure computer. Using a public computer, like one at your local library, is risky due to tracking software that thieves can use to steal your passwords.
5. Be computer savvy.
Even though a relatively small percentage of identity theft occurs online, you should still take necessary precautions.
In addition to being careful about surfing the web on public computers, you should also be aware of the risks involved when using a wireless connection. Wi-Fi and Bluetooth are becoming increasingly popular, and as a result there's bound to be an increase in wireless hacking.
Wireless connectivity is the perfect platform for thieves to get your personal data. If you have a wireless network at home or work, make sure you're incorporating password-protection and encryption. When accessing public hotspots, use a personal firewall.
Also, keep your computer safe by updating your antivirus and anti-spyware programs regularly. Use passwords so that others can't log on to your computer, laptop, or even your PDA, and be sure to change your passwords often.
Be smart about phishing scams, too. That's when you're sent an email that requests your personal or financial information, or that prompts you to click a link to provide your personal or financial information. If you're unsure of the legitimacy of such a request, call the company that it was supposedly sent from. If an email seems suspicious, it usually is.
6. Be aware of "deleted" data.
The Washington Post recently ran an article on mobile phones -- specifically "smartphones" like the Palm Treo and BlackBerry -- that was quite an eye-opener.
According to the story, resetting your phone to wipe out personal data doesn't exactly delete information. It turns out that your phone's operating system never actually deletes data, only the pointers to where the data is located. Anyone with the right software can recover information that was stored on your phone once you sell or discard it
You need to do is contact the device manufacturer for complete instructions on what to do to wipe your data clean. You can also visit WirelessRecycling.com for instructions. And think twice about what information you store on your device in case it's ever lost or stolen.
If Your Identity Is Stolen
Take the above steps and -- should you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of having had your identity stolen -- you'll commend yourself for being proactive enough to identify a problem before too much damage was done.
Don't waste a minute once you've discovered suspicious activity -- go directly to the website of the Federal Trade Commission to file a complaint and access their comprehensive guide on the steps you'll need to follow to resolve the situation.
Or the last action you can take is to buy a ID Guard insurance plan from AIA which will cover you for up to a limit lost due to stolen ID or if you got rob at the ATM machine/or on the way home after drawing money from an ATM machine.
Personally had my ID stolen when I paid for buying things using my credit card via the internet. Luckily the bank officer called me to check whether did I make the purchase in Spain at that actual moment. I was driving at that time...normally I won't answer the call but on that day, I picked up the call and told the officer that I was driving on the CTE...and that I cannot be in Spain doing any purchase at the same time. He confirmed my statement but at the end of the month, I still received a bank charge of the fraud. Shithead....but only after I rang the bank to complain about the charge, they sent me a form to fill and sign before they cancel off the charges. Man...2K. So, I am a strong believer of the ID Guard Plan hahaha.
The damage goes way beyond money. Identity theft can have a devastating impact on your entire life, destroying your credit score and taking you months or even years to recover from the damage.
Some Surprising Data
The Wall Street Journal recently reported that an estimated 95 million Americans have been exposed to some risk of identity theft in the last two years due to breaches at companies, institutions, and government offices.
USA Today also reported that by year's end there will be 8.9 million cases of identity fraud, resulting in an average loss of $6,383 per victim. This crime is an epidemic, and has quickly become a billion-dollar crisis.
The Javelin Strategy and Research 2006 Identity Fraud Survey Report, believed to be the largest ever on identity theft, reveals some surprising results. Ninety percent of identity fraud in which the source can be determined takes place through traditional means, not as a result of the Internet.
Don't Be a Victim
Lost or stolen wallets, checkbooks, and credit cards account for 30 percent of cases in which identity thieves gain access to personal information. That's right, it's the most frequent way that identities are stolen -- more than online transactions, more than stolen mail, and more than computer hacking.
According to the survey, the No. 1 misperception surrounding identity theft is that consumers are helpless to protect themselves. The truth is that many causes of identity theft are beyond our control. But taking a proactive stance to detect fraud will keep you from being a victim.
Here are six things you need to know to fight back against identity theft:
1. Keep your private information private.
Half of all identity theft in which the thief is identified is committed by a friend, coworker, neighbor, in-home employee, or relative of the victim. So make it a habit not to leave things lying around at home or in the office -- specifically your wallet, checkbook, or anything else containing private or financial information, including your mail.
Also, before you toss anything in the trash containing your private information, be sure to shred it. This isn't new advice, but I'd be remiss not to mention it.
2. Get a copy of your credit reports.
Often, victims of identity theft have no idea their credit is being used or destroyed until they apply for a loan and pull their credit score. So pull your credit report now, and make a plan to check it regularly.
By law, you're entitled to a free credit report from each of the three major credit bureaus -- Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion -- once every year. Go to AnnualCreditReport.com and stagger your requests so that you'll receive one report from each credit bureau every four months. Put the dates on your calendar so you don't forget. Keep in mind that this is for your free credit report only, not your credit score.
For your credit score, you'll need to go to myFICO. While you're there, you may want to check out their Identity Theft Security Deluxe product, which monitors your credit score and credit report automatically for $49.95 a year.
3. Find out if your state has a credit freeze law.
Here's a virtually foolproof way to prevent a thief from stealing your identity and using your personal data to get approved for credit. With this new law you're able to block ("freeze") all access to your credit report and credit score.
It's not necessarily the most convenient solution to protect yourself from fraud. Anytime you need to have your credit checked -- for instance, if you're buying a car or cell phone or even interviewing for a job -- you'll need to lift the block ("thaw" your record), which takes about three days. But if you have real concerns about identity theft or perhaps are already a victim, this is an option you may want to consider.
Some states will only grant a credit freeze if you're already a victim of identity theft. Find out if your state has a credit freeze law, including what it costs, by visiting FinancialPrivacyNow.org.
4. Check your bank statements weekly.
One of the great things about online banking is that you can log on and check your account at any time. Make a point of checking your bank statement weekly to be sure there aren't any red flags.
The same goes for your credit card statements. In fact, you may want to consider canceling your paper statements altogether and opting for online statements. After all, you're more likely to have personal information stolen from your mail than from the Internet.
That said, be sure to always use a secure computer. Using a public computer, like one at your local library, is risky due to tracking software that thieves can use to steal your passwords.
5. Be computer savvy.
Even though a relatively small percentage of identity theft occurs online, you should still take necessary precautions.
In addition to being careful about surfing the web on public computers, you should also be aware of the risks involved when using a wireless connection. Wi-Fi and Bluetooth are becoming increasingly popular, and as a result there's bound to be an increase in wireless hacking.
Wireless connectivity is the perfect platform for thieves to get your personal data. If you have a wireless network at home or work, make sure you're incorporating password-protection and encryption. When accessing public hotspots, use a personal firewall.
Also, keep your computer safe by updating your antivirus and anti-spyware programs regularly. Use passwords so that others can't log on to your computer, laptop, or even your PDA, and be sure to change your passwords often.
Be smart about phishing scams, too. That's when you're sent an email that requests your personal or financial information, or that prompts you to click a link to provide your personal or financial information. If you're unsure of the legitimacy of such a request, call the company that it was supposedly sent from. If an email seems suspicious, it usually is.
6. Be aware of "deleted" data.
The Washington Post recently ran an article on mobile phones -- specifically "smartphones" like the Palm Treo and BlackBerry -- that was quite an eye-opener.
According to the story, resetting your phone to wipe out personal data doesn't exactly delete information. It turns out that your phone's operating system never actually deletes data, only the pointers to where the data is located. Anyone with the right software can recover information that was stored on your phone once you sell or discard it
You need to do is contact the device manufacturer for complete instructions on what to do to wipe your data clean. You can also visit WirelessRecycling.com for instructions. And think twice about what information you store on your device in case it's ever lost or stolen.
If Your Identity Is Stolen
Take the above steps and -- should you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of having had your identity stolen -- you'll commend yourself for being proactive enough to identify a problem before too much damage was done.
Don't waste a minute once you've discovered suspicious activity -- go directly to the website of the Federal Trade Commission to file a complaint and access their comprehensive guide on the steps you'll need to follow to resolve the situation.
Some states will only grant a credit freeze if you're already a victim of identity theft. Find out if your state has a credit freeze law, including what it costs, by visiting FinancialPrivacyNow.org.
4. Check your bank statements weekly.
One of the great things about online banking is that you can log on and check your account at any time. Make a point of checking your bank statement weekly to be sure there aren't any red flags.
The same goes for your credit card statements. In fact, you may want to consider canceling your paper statements altogether and opting for online statements. After all, you're more likely to have personal information stolen from your mail than from the Internet.
That said, be sure to always use a secure computer. Using a public computer, like one at your local library, is risky due to tracking software that thieves can use to steal your passwords.
5. Be computer savvy.
Even though a relatively small percentage of identity theft occurs online, you should still take necessary precautions.
In addition to being careful about surfing the web on public computers, you should also be aware of the risks involved when using a wireless connection. Wi-Fi and Bluetooth are becoming increasingly popular, and as a result there's bound to be an increase in wireless hacking.
Wireless connectivity is the perfect platform for thieves to get your personal data. If you have a wireless network at home or work, make sure you're incorporating password-protection and encryption. When accessing public hotspots, use a personal firewall.
Also, keep your computer safe by updating your antivirus and anti-spyware programs regularly. Use passwords so that others can't log on to your computer, laptop, or even your PDA, and be sure to change your passwords often.
Be smart about phishing scams, too. That's when you're sent an email that requests your personal or financial information, or that prompts you to click a link to provide your personal or financial information. If you're unsure of the legitimacy of such a request, call the company that it was supposedly sent from. If an email seems suspicious, it usually is.
6. Be aware of "deleted" data.
The Washington Post recently ran an article on mobile phones -- specifically "smartphones" like the Palm Treo and BlackBerry -- that was quite an eye-opener.
According to the story, resetting your phone to wipe out personal data doesn't exactly delete information. It turns out that your phone's operating system never actually deletes data, only the pointers to where the data is located. Anyone with the right software can recover information that was stored on your phone once you sell or discard it
You need to do is contact the device manufacturer for complete instructions on what to do to wipe your data clean. You can also visit WirelessRecycling.com for instructions. And think twice about what information you store on your device in case it's ever lost or stolen.
If Your Identity Is Stolen
Take the above steps and -- should you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of having had your identity stolen -- you'll commend yourself for being proactive enough to identify a problem before too much damage was done.
Don't waste a minute once you've discovered suspicious activity -- go directly to the website of the Federal Trade Commission to file a complaint and access their comprehensive guide on the steps you'll need to follow to resolve the situation.
Or the last action you can take is to buy a ID Guard insurance plan from AIA which will cover you for up to a limit lost due to stolen ID or if you got rob at the ATM machine/or on the way home after drawing money from an ATM machine.
Personally had my ID stolen when I paid for buying things using my credit card via the internet. Luckily the bank officer called me to check whether did I make the purchase in Spain at that actual moment. I was driving at that time...normally I won't answer the call but on that day, I picked up the call and told the officer that I was driving on the CTE...and that I cannot be in Spain doing any purchase at the same time. He confirmed my statement but at the end of the month, I still received a bank charge of the fraud. Shithead....but only after I rang the bank to complain about the charge, they sent me a form to fill and sign before they cancel off the charges. Man...2K. So, I am a strong believer of the ID Guard Plan hahaha.
"Understanding Sleeplessness: Perspectives on Insomnia."
In Salt Lake City at this year's major annual meeting of sleep researchers and clinicians, I recently spoke to a group of attendees about the various ways of viewing insomnia described in my book, "Understanding Sleeplessness: Perspectives on Insomnia."
Insomnia usually is caused by several different influences. Rarely is there a single answer that solves the problem. People with chronic insomnia generally improve gradually as different issues are addressed. Success usually results from some combination of behavior changes, psychotherapeutic interventions, and schedule modifications, sometimes with the aid of medications.
One way of understanding insomnia is with a motivated behavior perspective. The idea behind this perspective is that people have various natural biological drives, one of which is the drive for sleep.
After being awake long enough, we all become sleepy. However, there are times when a person might expect to be able to sleep but doesn't have a sufficient sleepiness drive.
For instance, an afternoon nap might decrease the sleepiness drive at bedtime and make it difficult for the person to fall asleep quickly. Caffeine in the evening certainly can affect the balance of wakefulness and sleepiness, contributing to insomnia.
Another point of view is called the dimensional perspective. We all have characteristics along different spectra, some of which might influence our ability to sleep well.
One continuum relates to our biological clocks. While most of us sleep beginning at about 10 p.m. to midnight until about 6 a.m. to 8 a.m., others may be early birds or night owls.
People at the extreme ends of this spectrum are more likely to have difficulty with their sleep. The night owls often have trouble getting to sleep as early as they would like, and the early birds tend to awaken much earlier than they would like.
Recently I wrote about the different ways of viewing the problem of insomnia discussed in my book "Understanding Sleeplessness: Perspectives on Insomnia." I described the motivated behavior and dimensional perspectives in my last entry. Here I'll write about the life-story and disease model views.
It's natural for us to search for meaning by trying to explain things, and that includes why we have certain problems, such as difficulty sleeping. There is a type of logic in the stories we create. We might explain insomnia as the result of an upsetting experience, a work schedule change, or a habit of drinking coffee after dinner. In other words, insomnia may make sense because of something we've done or something that has happened to us.
With the disease model we try to explain insomnia in relation to biological functioning. The disease model considers clusters of symptoms that might represent particular disorders. From this point of view, insomnia might be viewed as one feature of a mood or anxiety disorder.
Difficulty falling asleep is a characteristic of the delayed sleep phase syndrome. Some people have insomnia as a disorder that is not obviously caused by another disorder. The ultimate goal of the disease model approach is understanding the underlying biological cause of a symptom.
The motivated behavior, dimensional, life-story, and disease model perspectives all may provide valuable insights regarding a patient's sleep problems. None of them is the single right answer; rather, these four points of view complement each other. In addition to helping us understand insomnia, these types of reasoning are used in understanding many different psychiatric problems. That is the subject of the book "Perspectives of Psychiatry" by Paul McHugh and Phillip Slavney.
More points of view should help doctors highlight the different possible ways they can help their patients. Someone with an anxiety disorder may also have an advanced sleep phase "early bird" tendency and feel distressed about family problems. Addressing all of them probably will be the best solution for the insomnia.
Insomnia usually is caused by several different influences. Rarely is there a single answer that solves the problem. People with chronic insomnia generally improve gradually as different issues are addressed. Success usually results from some combination of behavior changes, psychotherapeutic interventions, and schedule modifications, sometimes with the aid of medications.
One way of understanding insomnia is with a motivated behavior perspective. The idea behind this perspective is that people have various natural biological drives, one of which is the drive for sleep.
After being awake long enough, we all become sleepy. However, there are times when a person might expect to be able to sleep but doesn't have a sufficient sleepiness drive.
For instance, an afternoon nap might decrease the sleepiness drive at bedtime and make it difficult for the person to fall asleep quickly. Caffeine in the evening certainly can affect the balance of wakefulness and sleepiness, contributing to insomnia.
Another point of view is called the dimensional perspective. We all have characteristics along different spectra, some of which might influence our ability to sleep well.
One continuum relates to our biological clocks. While most of us sleep beginning at about 10 p.m. to midnight until about 6 a.m. to 8 a.m., others may be early birds or night owls.
People at the extreme ends of this spectrum are more likely to have difficulty with their sleep. The night owls often have trouble getting to sleep as early as they would like, and the early birds tend to awaken much earlier than they would like.
Recently I wrote about the different ways of viewing the problem of insomnia discussed in my book "Understanding Sleeplessness: Perspectives on Insomnia." I described the motivated behavior and dimensional perspectives in my last entry. Here I'll write about the life-story and disease model views.
It's natural for us to search for meaning by trying to explain things, and that includes why we have certain problems, such as difficulty sleeping. There is a type of logic in the stories we create. We might explain insomnia as the result of an upsetting experience, a work schedule change, or a habit of drinking coffee after dinner. In other words, insomnia may make sense because of something we've done or something that has happened to us.
With the disease model we try to explain insomnia in relation to biological functioning. The disease model considers clusters of symptoms that might represent particular disorders. From this point of view, insomnia might be viewed as one feature of a mood or anxiety disorder.
Difficulty falling asleep is a characteristic of the delayed sleep phase syndrome. Some people have insomnia as a disorder that is not obviously caused by another disorder. The ultimate goal of the disease model approach is understanding the underlying biological cause of a symptom.
The motivated behavior, dimensional, life-story, and disease model perspectives all may provide valuable insights regarding a patient's sleep problems. None of them is the single right answer; rather, these four points of view complement each other. In addition to helping us understand insomnia, these types of reasoning are used in understanding many different psychiatric problems. That is the subject of the book "Perspectives of Psychiatry" by Paul McHugh and Phillip Slavney.
More points of view should help doctors highlight the different possible ways they can help their patients. Someone with an anxiety disorder may also have an advanced sleep phase "early bird" tendency and feel distressed about family problems. Addressing all of them probably will be the best solution for the insomnia.
Saturday....coming to an end of another working week
Man! not too bad week for me except that I didn't have the chance to be with my honey but beside that, no complaint. For my review on Thursday with the doctor on my sinusistis, still on medication for another 2 weeks to help clear the whole situation. Personally....still not too hot at the moment, the aching feeling is lesser but I can still feel it when in a cold room or when it is cold.
At work....so so week, had the chance to welcome my old friends to my section. But due to the fact that there are 2 bosses around....and me going home later because I must call to report to them before going off, not so shiok lor.
Luck....too bad, no luck yet. So....just keep a low profile until things improve next year.
Yet...spent time with kid on monday and tuesday, going to Vivo City, Funan and Sim Lim Sq for the X-box 360, games and to fix up the home pc. All done....now. Learned one thing...the youngster now will feel shy of their parents if their parents are too "out-of-date". I got this feeling when I went to the Funan to get the games for the X-box. I want to try out the games with my kid at the game station but due to my lack of knowledge I end-up shutting down the game instead of playing the game. hahaha my kid pretends that she does not know me. Just act blur...and play with her hp when I asked her what happened as the screen went "blank". Shithead! Just go to show....better don't put too much hope on our kids as they will sell us to the wolves
when things turn "bad". Of course...when they need us to sponsor or buy them something, they act so sweet. That's life. So "REAL"....sad but a fact.
hahaha...also posted a few interesting posts on some subjects that I find on the internet. So enjoy....and comment.
At work....so so week, had the chance to welcome my old friends to my section. But due to the fact that there are 2 bosses around....and me going home later because I must call to report to them before going off, not so shiok lor.
Luck....too bad, no luck yet. So....just keep a low profile until things improve next year.
Yet...spent time with kid on monday and tuesday, going to Vivo City, Funan and Sim Lim Sq for the X-box 360, games and to fix up the home pc. All done....now. Learned one thing...the youngster now will feel shy of their parents if their parents are too "out-of-date". I got this feeling when I went to the Funan to get the games for the X-box. I want to try out the games with my kid at the game station but due to my lack of knowledge I end-up shutting down the game instead of playing the game. hahaha my kid pretends that she does not know me. Just act blur...and play with her hp when I asked her what happened as the screen went "blank". Shithead! Just go to show....better don't put too much hope on our kids as they will sell us to the wolves
when things turn "bad". Of course...when they need us to sponsor or buy them something, they act so sweet. That's life. So "REAL"....sad but a fact.
hahaha...also posted a few interesting posts on some subjects that I find on the internet. So enjoy....and comment.
Sleep Problems, Treatment and Prevention for Age 12 and Older
Topic Overview
Everyone has a "bad night" once in a while. Dogs barking, the wind howling, or overeating may make it difficult to sleep. It is estimated that 35% of adults have occasional sleep problems, which can have many causes.
Insomnia
The medical term for difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep is insomnia. Insomnia can include:
Difficulty getting to sleep (taking more than 45 minutes to fall asleep).
Frequent awakenings with inability to fall back to sleep.
Early morning awakening.
Feeling very tired after a night of sleep.
However, insomnia usually is not a problem unless it makes you feel tired during the day. If you are less sleepy at night or wake up early but still feel rested and alert, there usually is little need to worry. Fortunately, home treatment measures successfully relieve occasional insomnia.
Occasional insomnia may be caused by noise, extreme temperatures, jet lag, changes in your sleep environment, or a change in your sleep pattern, such as shift work. Insomnia may also be caused by temporary or situational life stresses, such as a traumatic event or an impending deadline. Your insomnia is likely to disappear when the cause of your sleep problem goes away.
Short-term insomnia may last from a few nights to a few weeks and be caused by worry over a stressful situation.
Long-term insomnia, which may last months or even years, may be caused by:
Advancing age. Insomnia occurs more frequently in adults older than age 60.
Mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, or mania.
Medications. Many prescription and nonprescription medications can cause sleep problems.
Chronic pain, which often develops after a major injury or illness, such as shingles or back problems, or after a limb has been amputated (phantom limb pain).
Other physical problems, such as asthma, coronary artery disease, or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).
Alcohol and illegal drug use or withdrawal.
Sleep apnea
Sleep apnea is one of several sleep disorders. Sleep apnea refers to repeated episodes of not breathing during sleep for at least 10 seconds (apneic episodes). It usually is caused by a blockage in the nose, mouth, or throat (upper airways). When airflow through the nose and mouth is blocked, breathing may stop for 10 seconds or longer. People who have sleep apnea usually snore loudly and are very tired during the day. It can affect children and adults. See illustrations of a normal upper airway during sleep and a blocked upper airway.
Narcolepsy
Narcolepsy is a sleep disorder that has distinct symptoms, including:
Sudden sleep attacks, which may occur during any type of activity at any time of day. You may fall asleep while engaged in an activity such as eating dinner, driving the car, or carrying on a conversation. These sleep attacks can occur several times a day and may last from a few minutes to several hours.
Sudden, brief periods of muscle weakness while you are awake (cataplexy). This weakness may affect specific muscle groups or may affect the entire body. Cataplexy is often brought on by strong emotional reactions, such as laughing or crying.
Hallucinations just before a sleep attack.
Brief loss of the ability to move when you are falling asleep or just waking up (sleep paralysis).
Parasomnias
Parasomnias are undesirable physical activities that occur during sleep involving skeletal muscle activity, nervous system changes, or both. Night terrors and sleepwalking are two types of parasomnias. Sleep can be difficult for people who experience parasomnias. While “asleep,” a person with parasomnia may walk, scream, rearrange furniture, eat odd foods, or wield a weapon.
Parasomnia can cause odd, distressing, and sometimes dangerous nighttime activities. These disorders have medically explainable causes and usually are treatable.
Restless legs syndrome
Restless legs syndrome (RLS) is a condition that produces an intense feeling of discomfort, aching, or twitching deep inside the legs. Jerking movements may affect the toes, ankles, knees, and hips. Moving the legs or walking around usually relieves the discomfort temporarily.
The exact cause of restless legs syndrome is unknown. The symptoms of restless legs syndrome most often occur while a person is asleep or is trying to fall asleep. The twitching or jerking leg movements may wake the person up, causing insomnia, unrestful sleep, and daytime sleepiness.
When a sleep problem or lack of time keeps you from getting a good night's sleep, excessive daytime sleepiness may occur. While almost everyone experiences daytime sleepiness from time to time, it can have serious consequences such as motor vehicle accidents, poor work or school performance, and work-related accidents.
Sleep problems may be a symptom of a medical or mental health problem. It is important to consider whether a medical or mental health problem is causing you to sleep poorly. Treating a long-term sleep problem without looking for the cause may hide the real reason for your poor sleep.
Home Treatment
How much sleep a person needs varies from person to person. The number of hours you sleep is not as important as how you feel when you wake up. If you to do not feel refreshed, you probably need more sleep. Feeling tired during the daytime is another sign you are not getting enough sleep. The average total nightly sleep time is 7.5 to 8 hours. Healthy adults can require anywhere from 4 to 10 hours of sleep. Many times, simple home treatment can help you get the sleep you need.
If your sleep problem does not require a visit to your health professional, establish a routine to promote good sleep habits:
Set a bedtime and time to get up, and stick to them, even on weekends. This will help your body get used to a regular sleep time.
Exercise during the day. Avoid strenuous exercise within 2 hours of bedtime.
Wind down toward the end of the day. Don't take on problem-solving conversations or challenging activities in the evening.
Take a warm bath before bed.
Keep your bedroom dark, cool, and quiet.
Remove distractions, such as a clock, telephone, or radio, from your bedroom.
Use a humidifier or "white noise" machine to block out background noise in your bedroom throughout the night.
Try using a sleep mask and ear plugs at night.
If you take medication that may be stimulating, such as antihistamines, decongestants, or asthma medications, take them as long before bedtime as possible.
Reserve the bedroom for sleeping and sexual activities so that you come to associate it with sleep. Go to another room to read, watch television, or eat.
After getting into bed, make a conscious effort to let your muscles relax. Imagine yourself in a peaceful, pleasant scene. For more information, see the topic Stress Management.
When you cannot get to sleep, try the following:
If you are still awake after 15 or 20 minutes, get up and read in dim light or do a boring task until you feel drowsy. Don't lie in bed and think about how much sleep you're missing or watch TV.
Avoid activities that might keep you from a good night's sleep:
Do not take naps during the day, especially in the evening.
Do not drink or eat caffeine after 3:00 p.m. This includes coffee, tea, cola drinks, and chocolate.
Do not smoke or use other tobacco products. Nicotine can disrupt sleep and reduce total sleep time. Smokers report more daytime sleepiness and minor accidents than do nonsmokers, especially in younger age groups.
Prevention
Many sleep problems can be prevented. Avoid activities that might keep you from a good night's sleep.
Use your bed only for sleeping. Do not read, watch television, or do paperwork in bed. Reserve the bedroom for sleeping and sexual activities so that you come to associate it with sleep.
Do not take naps during the day, especially in the evening.
Do not drink or eat caffeine after 3:00 p.m. This includes coffee, tea, cola drinks, and chocolate.
Avoid eating large meals close to bedtime.
Exercise during the day. Avoid strenuous exercise within 2 hours of bedtime.
Do not smoke or use other tobacco products. Nicotine can disrupt sleep and reduce total sleep time. Smokers report more daytime sleepiness and minor accidents than do nonsmokers, especially in younger age groups
Everyone has a "bad night" once in a while. Dogs barking, the wind howling, or overeating may make it difficult to sleep. It is estimated that 35% of adults have occasional sleep problems, which can have many causes.
Insomnia
The medical term for difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep is insomnia. Insomnia can include:
Difficulty getting to sleep (taking more than 45 minutes to fall asleep).
Frequent awakenings with inability to fall back to sleep.
Early morning awakening.
Feeling very tired after a night of sleep.
However, insomnia usually is not a problem unless it makes you feel tired during the day. If you are less sleepy at night or wake up early but still feel rested and alert, there usually is little need to worry. Fortunately, home treatment measures successfully relieve occasional insomnia.
Occasional insomnia may be caused by noise, extreme temperatures, jet lag, changes in your sleep environment, or a change in your sleep pattern, such as shift work. Insomnia may also be caused by temporary or situational life stresses, such as a traumatic event or an impending deadline. Your insomnia is likely to disappear when the cause of your sleep problem goes away.
Short-term insomnia may last from a few nights to a few weeks and be caused by worry over a stressful situation.
Long-term insomnia, which may last months or even years, may be caused by:
Advancing age. Insomnia occurs more frequently in adults older than age 60.
Mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, or mania.
Medications. Many prescription and nonprescription medications can cause sleep problems.
Chronic pain, which often develops after a major injury or illness, such as shingles or back problems, or after a limb has been amputated (phantom limb pain).
Other physical problems, such as asthma, coronary artery disease, or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).
Alcohol and illegal drug use or withdrawal.
Sleep apnea
Sleep apnea is one of several sleep disorders. Sleep apnea refers to repeated episodes of not breathing during sleep for at least 10 seconds (apneic episodes). It usually is caused by a blockage in the nose, mouth, or throat (upper airways). When airflow through the nose and mouth is blocked, breathing may stop for 10 seconds or longer. People who have sleep apnea usually snore loudly and are very tired during the day. It can affect children and adults. See illustrations of a normal upper airway during sleep and a blocked upper airway.
Narcolepsy
Narcolepsy is a sleep disorder that has distinct symptoms, including:
Sudden sleep attacks, which may occur during any type of activity at any time of day. You may fall asleep while engaged in an activity such as eating dinner, driving the car, or carrying on a conversation. These sleep attacks can occur several times a day and may last from a few minutes to several hours.
Sudden, brief periods of muscle weakness while you are awake (cataplexy). This weakness may affect specific muscle groups or may affect the entire body. Cataplexy is often brought on by strong emotional reactions, such as laughing or crying.
Hallucinations just before a sleep attack.
Brief loss of the ability to move when you are falling asleep or just waking up (sleep paralysis).
Parasomnias
Parasomnias are undesirable physical activities that occur during sleep involving skeletal muscle activity, nervous system changes, or both. Night terrors and sleepwalking are two types of parasomnias. Sleep can be difficult for people who experience parasomnias. While “asleep,” a person with parasomnia may walk, scream, rearrange furniture, eat odd foods, or wield a weapon.
Parasomnia can cause odd, distressing, and sometimes dangerous nighttime activities. These disorders have medically explainable causes and usually are treatable.
Restless legs syndrome
Restless legs syndrome (RLS) is a condition that produces an intense feeling of discomfort, aching, or twitching deep inside the legs. Jerking movements may affect the toes, ankles, knees, and hips. Moving the legs or walking around usually relieves the discomfort temporarily.
The exact cause of restless legs syndrome is unknown. The symptoms of restless legs syndrome most often occur while a person is asleep or is trying to fall asleep. The twitching or jerking leg movements may wake the person up, causing insomnia, unrestful sleep, and daytime sleepiness.
When a sleep problem or lack of time keeps you from getting a good night's sleep, excessive daytime sleepiness may occur. While almost everyone experiences daytime sleepiness from time to time, it can have serious consequences such as motor vehicle accidents, poor work or school performance, and work-related accidents.
Sleep problems may be a symptom of a medical or mental health problem. It is important to consider whether a medical or mental health problem is causing you to sleep poorly. Treating a long-term sleep problem without looking for the cause may hide the real reason for your poor sleep.
Home Treatment
How much sleep a person needs varies from person to person. The number of hours you sleep is not as important as how you feel when you wake up. If you to do not feel refreshed, you probably need more sleep. Feeling tired during the daytime is another sign you are not getting enough sleep. The average total nightly sleep time is 7.5 to 8 hours. Healthy adults can require anywhere from 4 to 10 hours of sleep. Many times, simple home treatment can help you get the sleep you need.
If your sleep problem does not require a visit to your health professional, establish a routine to promote good sleep habits:
Set a bedtime and time to get up, and stick to them, even on weekends. This will help your body get used to a regular sleep time.
Exercise during the day. Avoid strenuous exercise within 2 hours of bedtime.
Wind down toward the end of the day. Don't take on problem-solving conversations or challenging activities in the evening.
Take a warm bath before bed.
Keep your bedroom dark, cool, and quiet.
Remove distractions, such as a clock, telephone, or radio, from your bedroom.
Use a humidifier or "white noise" machine to block out background noise in your bedroom throughout the night.
Try using a sleep mask and ear plugs at night.
If you take medication that may be stimulating, such as antihistamines, decongestants, or asthma medications, take them as long before bedtime as possible.
Reserve the bedroom for sleeping and sexual activities so that you come to associate it with sleep. Go to another room to read, watch television, or eat.
After getting into bed, make a conscious effort to let your muscles relax. Imagine yourself in a peaceful, pleasant scene. For more information, see the topic Stress Management.
When you cannot get to sleep, try the following:
If you are still awake after 15 or 20 minutes, get up and read in dim light or do a boring task until you feel drowsy. Don't lie in bed and think about how much sleep you're missing or watch TV.
Avoid activities that might keep you from a good night's sleep:
Do not take naps during the day, especially in the evening.
Do not drink or eat caffeine after 3:00 p.m. This includes coffee, tea, cola drinks, and chocolate.
Do not smoke or use other tobacco products. Nicotine can disrupt sleep and reduce total sleep time. Smokers report more daytime sleepiness and minor accidents than do nonsmokers, especially in younger age groups.
Prevention
Many sleep problems can be prevented. Avoid activities that might keep you from a good night's sleep.
Use your bed only for sleeping. Do not read, watch television, or do paperwork in bed. Reserve the bedroom for sleeping and sexual activities so that you come to associate it with sleep.
Do not take naps during the day, especially in the evening.
Do not drink or eat caffeine after 3:00 p.m. This includes coffee, tea, cola drinks, and chocolate.
Avoid eating large meals close to bedtime.
Exercise during the day. Avoid strenuous exercise within 2 hours of bedtime.
Do not smoke or use other tobacco products. Nicotine can disrupt sleep and reduce total sleep time. Smokers report more daytime sleepiness and minor accidents than do nonsmokers, especially in younger age groups
Sadness & Depression: What Is the Difference?
We all know sadness. It is part of being human.
We experience personal losses -- large and small -- and we feel the losses of others, near and far. If I were to write about the news stories that sadden me, I'd have to stop writing. Sometimes we are so overcome with sadness or grief we wonder how we will ever continue to do normal things again.
And yet we do, perhaps a little at a time. We all know depression to some degree. Normally, when we do feel depressed we know exactly why, and deep down we know that eventually we'll feel better.
What, then, is abnormal about major depression, a psychiatric disorder that can and should be treated?
Often with major depression there is no reason for feeling so low, although an episode certainly can be initiated by an understandable loss. Major depression can hijack your thinking and your body. It can steal your sleep, appetite, and interest in sex. People with severe major depression can feel that they don't deserve to live or want to end their lives to escape their pain. Tragically, in the depths of their despair, some of them often do end their lives.
When I was 15, my friend Steve was at my house when he got the call that his bright, beautiful, and creative 16-year-old sister, Monica, had shot herself in the head and was dead. What was she thinking that she needed to stop so emphatically, so permanently? Years later I came upon Monica's file in the medical examiner's office when I was doing research on suicide among children and adolescents. For my research, it was just another case; for me, personally, it wasn't. Each of the files represented immense pain for the victim of depression and his or her loved ones. It is important to understand major depression so we can recognize it in ourselves or those in our lives.
Saw a true life interview with a professor who suffered from a major depression but failed to kill himself and later with proper medical treatment, he was able to overcome his depression to talk about his story on BBC last week. And he said that he has totally no good reason to be depressed in the first place. He is very rich and he has a very supportive family....but as he aged, he became lonely because his wife has different interests. He felt neglected and when he fell sick with a stroke, his whole world seem to fall apart. That is when his depression really get to him.
He doesn't want pity when people paid more attentions to him due to his stroke and so on until one day....he over-dosed himself with sleeping pills but he was found in time and was rushed to hospital for treatment. Only after that, he was able to understand his condition better together with the family's support and understanding able to overcome his situation. During the interview...he spoke about the "real lows"
he felt and that no one can really understand his feeling at the moment. That is what a major depression can do....if it gets to that point. Very suicidal too.
We experience personal losses -- large and small -- and we feel the losses of others, near and far. If I were to write about the news stories that sadden me, I'd have to stop writing. Sometimes we are so overcome with sadness or grief we wonder how we will ever continue to do normal things again.
And yet we do, perhaps a little at a time. We all know depression to some degree. Normally, when we do feel depressed we know exactly why, and deep down we know that eventually we'll feel better.
What, then, is abnormal about major depression, a psychiatric disorder that can and should be treated?
Often with major depression there is no reason for feeling so low, although an episode certainly can be initiated by an understandable loss. Major depression can hijack your thinking and your body. It can steal your sleep, appetite, and interest in sex. People with severe major depression can feel that they don't deserve to live or want to end their lives to escape their pain. Tragically, in the depths of their despair, some of them often do end their lives.
When I was 15, my friend Steve was at my house when he got the call that his bright, beautiful, and creative 16-year-old sister, Monica, had shot herself in the head and was dead. What was she thinking that she needed to stop so emphatically, so permanently? Years later I came upon Monica's file in the medical examiner's office when I was doing research on suicide among children and adolescents. For my research, it was just another case; for me, personally, it wasn't. Each of the files represented immense pain for the victim of depression and his or her loved ones. It is important to understand major depression so we can recognize it in ourselves or those in our lives.
Saw a true life interview with a professor who suffered from a major depression but failed to kill himself and later with proper medical treatment, he was able to overcome his depression to talk about his story on BBC last week. And he said that he has totally no good reason to be depressed in the first place. He is very rich and he has a very supportive family....but as he aged, he became lonely because his wife has different interests. He felt neglected and when he fell sick with a stroke, his whole world seem to fall apart. That is when his depression really get to him.
He doesn't want pity when people paid more attentions to him due to his stroke and so on until one day....he over-dosed himself with sleeping pills but he was found in time and was rushed to hospital for treatment. Only after that, he was able to understand his condition better together with the family's support and understanding able to overcome his situation. During the interview...he spoke about the "real lows"
he felt and that no one can really understand his feeling at the moment. That is what a major depression can do....if it gets to that point. Very suicidal too.
Suicide - not always a cry for help
Not Always a Cry for Help
Last Updated: May 6, 2003
This is not your grandmother's take on suicide. It's not just a whole new way of looking at suicide, it's a counterintuitive view of self-destruction that makes many mental health professionals squirm.
But in nearly 20 years of studying threats, attempts and events leading up to the deaths of young people who killed themselves, and implementing policies to prevent it, psychologist Paul Joffe, Ph.D., has come to see that suicide isn't always a cry for help. Sometimes--perhaps more often than not, especially among people of college age--it's an instrument of power and control.
The idea that pain and distress lead to suicide makes so much common sense that no one stops to question it, says Joffe, who is head of the suicide prevention team at the University of Illinois and a clinical counselor in the student health center.
"If suicide is a cry for help we should wait and assume that person is going to come in on their own as soon as they make that cry," he recently told a national conference on Depression on College Campuses, which was sponsored by the University of Michigan. There's only one problem. Evidence he has gathered and scrutinized shows that they don't, certainly not on their own. "They refuse to make use of resources."
And it's not because of stigma, he insists. Rather, it's part of a longstanding dance with death, what's known in the psych biz as a "suicide career." These are not victims but masters of their own fate, people for whom the thought of suicide takes up long-term residence in the brain and for whom the risk of suicide doesn't fade after a threat or attempt. Suicidal intent is less a natural response to distress than a "virulent ideology." "Suicidal ideation hardens into a stiff shell of belief. These students feel good about suicide. It makes them feel in control," Joffe says. They contemplate, fantasize, plan, practice and rehearse taking their own lives.
Because they have been thinking about it for years, suicide becomes part of their personal identity. They feel proud of the power to control their own fate. They feel superior to others in that they have this avenue of power that others don't.
"A young adult committing suicide is in a basic power struggle either with their feelings or the environment around them," Joffe claims. "They're basically saying, 'You can't fire me; I quit. You can't control how I feel; you can't direct the circumstances around me. I'm going to trump you by making myself unavailable to those consequences.'" It's not so much a matter of a person being in so much pain they can't see any other option. It's more a refusal to accept either emotional or interpersonal consequences.
"It would surprise campus administrators to know that while suicidal student might or might not feel distressed about conditions in their lives, they generally don't feel distressed about being suicidal. Many will openly admit that being suicidal; it's one of the few, if not the only, bright spots in their lives."
Joffe began his career as a psychologist by examining coroner's reports and other data on 19 University of Illinois students who had died by suicide between 1976 and 1983. Most had demonstrated prior intent to kill themselves. Twelve of the 19 had made overt attempts before their successful one. None had seen a counselor on the university staff.
When, in 1984, the university became the first to introduce a formal suicide prevention program, the goal was to "invite and encourage" students to meet with psychologists after a suicide threat or attempt. In the three months the program existed in that form, it was "totally ineffective" at increasing the rate of contact.
But when he did manage to contact students who had recently made a suicide threat or attempt, Joffe couldn't miss a power struggle, a "contest of privilege." Students would deny they had made threats despite hard evidence, such as suicide notes and eyewitness accounts, they had done so. Or they'd dismiss threats as "ancient history." Or with a "ferocity of response," they would tell him "you have no right here; this is my right to do this. It's not an area of my life that I'm going to discuss with you."
Or they would agree to make an appointment with a counselor but not actually do it, or make an appointment and just not show up. If they kept the appointment they would never even discuss the fact of the suicide threat. "If suicide was a cry for help and we were offering help, they weren't accepting. We met denial and resistance. It was a power struggle to make contact and to talk about what happened."
Even if you stick to the belief that suicide is a distress signal, in its nature and style the request for help has a power-and-control aspect as well, observes Joffe, "Most of us ask for help straightforwardly; we put it on the table that there is some kind of need."
But asking for help by engaging in self-destructive behavior has a compulsory aspect to it that hijacks the interpersonal environment. It's tantamount to saying, "Well, you have to help me because the stakes are so high and my life is on the line."
Looking at it this way has enabled Joffe to evolve a suicide prevention program that is singularly effective. The new policy, implemented in October 1984, abandoned "invite and encourage" and mandates four sessions with a counselor by all enrolled students who attempt or threaten suicide. The first appointment must be within one week of the incident or release from the hospital and the remaining assessment at weekly intervals.
Students are informed that if they don't follow through they risk withdrawal from the university. The program takes considerable effort; sometimes a counselor has to make 20 phone calls to get a student to complete four visits.
It has cut the death rate by more than 55%, while the suicide rate at other universities has remained stable over the same time frame. In the seven years before the suicide prevention program was started, there were 16 suicides at the University of Illinois, or 2.3 per year. In the 18 years since, there have been 19 suicides, or 1.05 suicides per year.
The program has been 100% successful in eliminating suicides among students who engage in "public rehearsals" prior to their actual suicide. The suicides that have occurred have been limited to those that were "out of the blue," in which the students made no prior attempts or threats.
The percentage of students in therapy following a suicide attempt is now more than 90%. By contrast, a mere 5% engaged in therapy before the program was instituted.
Now in its nineteenth year, the program has had experience with 1,531 reported incidents. Twenty students, all of them male, have died--representing an overall decline in suicide deaths of 55%. All 20 of the completed suicides were so-called "out of the blue," or unforeseeable, in which the students had never had prior contact with a mental health professional.
The dramatic decline of suicides at Illinois stands in high contrast to what has been going on elsewhere during this time. The national rate of suicide among all 15- to 24-year-olds increased 2%. The suicide rate among students at Big Ten universities increased 9%.
While the program has been remarkably successful in reducing suicides among undergraduates, it has not impacted deaths among graduate students. These students are more private about their intent.
The conventional "distress model" of suicide is actually dangerous, Joffe contends. To regard threatened or attempted suicide as a cry for help that flows naturally from overwhelming distress invites compassion and pity. But not attempts to challenge that or intervene--because of the prevailing belief among professionals that that just might push someone over the edge, that the suicidal are fragile and on the brink and the caring response is to pull back and support them.
But to Joffe, the suicidal students he dealt with didn't seem too frail, certainly strong enough to engage in a power struggle. And he came to see that "it doesn't pay to give that person that kind of power. There's a community responsibility to challenge that person and to make a statement about violence and violence to yourself." He thinks the community-based challenge to the student's privilege to heap violence upon himself may be the most important ingredient of success.
The program not only saves lives, it keeps students in the educational system. What it isn't is politically correct. It recalibrates rights and responsibilities to put some responsibilities on students.
In general, universities promote rights and privileges, Joffe asserts. While agreeing with that general trend, his program singles out two areas in which responsibility is emphasized. One is that students have a responsibility to self-welfare, self-guardianship and self-care. The second is that they have a responsibility to the university community to carry themselves in a way that is not violent or disruptive.
Students are held accountable. Among those students who have threatened or attempted suicide, protecting themselves becomes a condition of living in the community. That's the leverage a college can exert: as the University of Illinois does, it can make self-guardianship a condition of continued enrollment.
It's the standard of guardianship that is novel. "The main problem with suicide prevention is that in the absence of a standard of self-welfare, there's little the mental health community can do to help." He points out that suicide prevention has something to learn from statutes to prevent cruelty to animals. "In at least 48 states, it's now a crime to commit violence to companion animals, and in six states there's mandated treatment. The privilege of ownership that permitted violence towards a pet has been replaced by a standard of guardianship. Something similar needs to happen with suicide. Perhaps we don't have the privilege to harm ourselves."
College and suicide are "unlikely companions," says Joffe. College is a time of promise and hope. Suicide is seen as the last resort of the hopeless. If college is an unlikely setting in which to commit suicide, it is the ideal setting in which to prevent it.
Phil Satow agrees. Satow knows a lot about suicide, and he learned it the hard way. He runs the Jed Foundation, named for his son, who committed suicide "out of the blue" while a student at the University of Arizona in 1998. The foundation has a very clear mission: to dramatically lower the suicide rate on college campuses.
He thinks Joffe's approach to dealing with kids who talk about or attempt suicide is necessary. And he admires Joffe's concept of self-guardianship. "You have a responsibility for taking care of yourself," says Satow. "It becomes part of the culture of the campus. And you take care of other kids in the community. That creates a healthy environment."
But no single approach to preventing suicide is sufficient. Satow contends that the long-term answer is not waiting for kids who attempt suicide. He would go all the way to having prevention strategies that change the culture on campus to promote health.
Power!...I find this very interesting as I too have this suicidal thoughts for a long long time. The funny thing is that thru this thought I am not fearful about the future when I become so sick that I need to die. "It wouldn't be a surprise to know that while suicidal person might or might not feel distressed about conditions in their lives, they generally don't feel distressed about being suicidal. Many will openly admit that being suicidal; it's one of the few, if not the only, bright spots in their lives." Yes! I fully agreed to this statement. In fact, I am not distressed about being suicidal at all but I find this as "empowering" myself when the final moment come. Would hate myself being in that helpless situation with all the tubes going thru the veins and openings, and being not in control or able to do anything to change the situation. That is also why I would support any movement by the government to stop life support once the patient choose to end his/her own life.
Last Updated: May 6, 2003
This is not your grandmother's take on suicide. It's not just a whole new way of looking at suicide, it's a counterintuitive view of self-destruction that makes many mental health professionals squirm.
But in nearly 20 years of studying threats, attempts and events leading up to the deaths of young people who killed themselves, and implementing policies to prevent it, psychologist Paul Joffe, Ph.D., has come to see that suicide isn't always a cry for help. Sometimes--perhaps more often than not, especially among people of college age--it's an instrument of power and control.
The idea that pain and distress lead to suicide makes so much common sense that no one stops to question it, says Joffe, who is head of the suicide prevention team at the University of Illinois and a clinical counselor in the student health center.
"If suicide is a cry for help we should wait and assume that person is going to come in on their own as soon as they make that cry," he recently told a national conference on Depression on College Campuses, which was sponsored by the University of Michigan. There's only one problem. Evidence he has gathered and scrutinized shows that they don't, certainly not on their own. "They refuse to make use of resources."
And it's not because of stigma, he insists. Rather, it's part of a longstanding dance with death, what's known in the psych biz as a "suicide career." These are not victims but masters of their own fate, people for whom the thought of suicide takes up long-term residence in the brain and for whom the risk of suicide doesn't fade after a threat or attempt. Suicidal intent is less a natural response to distress than a "virulent ideology." "Suicidal ideation hardens into a stiff shell of belief. These students feel good about suicide. It makes them feel in control," Joffe says. They contemplate, fantasize, plan, practice and rehearse taking their own lives.
Because they have been thinking about it for years, suicide becomes part of their personal identity. They feel proud of the power to control their own fate. They feel superior to others in that they have this avenue of power that others don't.
"A young adult committing suicide is in a basic power struggle either with their feelings or the environment around them," Joffe claims. "They're basically saying, 'You can't fire me; I quit. You can't control how I feel; you can't direct the circumstances around me. I'm going to trump you by making myself unavailable to those consequences.'" It's not so much a matter of a person being in so much pain they can't see any other option. It's more a refusal to accept either emotional or interpersonal consequences.
"It would surprise campus administrators to know that while suicidal student might or might not feel distressed about conditions in their lives, they generally don't feel distressed about being suicidal. Many will openly admit that being suicidal; it's one of the few, if not the only, bright spots in their lives."
Joffe began his career as a psychologist by examining coroner's reports and other data on 19 University of Illinois students who had died by suicide between 1976 and 1983. Most had demonstrated prior intent to kill themselves. Twelve of the 19 had made overt attempts before their successful one. None had seen a counselor on the university staff.
When, in 1984, the university became the first to introduce a formal suicide prevention program, the goal was to "invite and encourage" students to meet with psychologists after a suicide threat or attempt. In the three months the program existed in that form, it was "totally ineffective" at increasing the rate of contact.
But when he did manage to contact students who had recently made a suicide threat or attempt, Joffe couldn't miss a power struggle, a "contest of privilege." Students would deny they had made threats despite hard evidence, such as suicide notes and eyewitness accounts, they had done so. Or they'd dismiss threats as "ancient history." Or with a "ferocity of response," they would tell him "you have no right here; this is my right to do this. It's not an area of my life that I'm going to discuss with you."
Or they would agree to make an appointment with a counselor but not actually do it, or make an appointment and just not show up. If they kept the appointment they would never even discuss the fact of the suicide threat. "If suicide was a cry for help and we were offering help, they weren't accepting. We met denial and resistance. It was a power struggle to make contact and to talk about what happened."
Even if you stick to the belief that suicide is a distress signal, in its nature and style the request for help has a power-and-control aspect as well, observes Joffe, "Most of us ask for help straightforwardly; we put it on the table that there is some kind of need."
But asking for help by engaging in self-destructive behavior has a compulsory aspect to it that hijacks the interpersonal environment. It's tantamount to saying, "Well, you have to help me because the stakes are so high and my life is on the line."
Looking at it this way has enabled Joffe to evolve a suicide prevention program that is singularly effective. The new policy, implemented in October 1984, abandoned "invite and encourage" and mandates four sessions with a counselor by all enrolled students who attempt or threaten suicide. The first appointment must be within one week of the incident or release from the hospital and the remaining assessment at weekly intervals.
Students are informed that if they don't follow through they risk withdrawal from the university. The program takes considerable effort; sometimes a counselor has to make 20 phone calls to get a student to complete four visits.
It has cut the death rate by more than 55%, while the suicide rate at other universities has remained stable over the same time frame. In the seven years before the suicide prevention program was started, there were 16 suicides at the University of Illinois, or 2.3 per year. In the 18 years since, there have been 19 suicides, or 1.05 suicides per year.
The program has been 100% successful in eliminating suicides among students who engage in "public rehearsals" prior to their actual suicide. The suicides that have occurred have been limited to those that were "out of the blue," in which the students made no prior attempts or threats.
The percentage of students in therapy following a suicide attempt is now more than 90%. By contrast, a mere 5% engaged in therapy before the program was instituted.
Now in its nineteenth year, the program has had experience with 1,531 reported incidents. Twenty students, all of them male, have died--representing an overall decline in suicide deaths of 55%. All 20 of the completed suicides were so-called "out of the blue," or unforeseeable, in which the students had never had prior contact with a mental health professional.
The dramatic decline of suicides at Illinois stands in high contrast to what has been going on elsewhere during this time. The national rate of suicide among all 15- to 24-year-olds increased 2%. The suicide rate among students at Big Ten universities increased 9%.
While the program has been remarkably successful in reducing suicides among undergraduates, it has not impacted deaths among graduate students. These students are more private about their intent.
The conventional "distress model" of suicide is actually dangerous, Joffe contends. To regard threatened or attempted suicide as a cry for help that flows naturally from overwhelming distress invites compassion and pity. But not attempts to challenge that or intervene--because of the prevailing belief among professionals that that just might push someone over the edge, that the suicidal are fragile and on the brink and the caring response is to pull back and support them.
But to Joffe, the suicidal students he dealt with didn't seem too frail, certainly strong enough to engage in a power struggle. And he came to see that "it doesn't pay to give that person that kind of power. There's a community responsibility to challenge that person and to make a statement about violence and violence to yourself." He thinks the community-based challenge to the student's privilege to heap violence upon himself may be the most important ingredient of success.
The program not only saves lives, it keeps students in the educational system. What it isn't is politically correct. It recalibrates rights and responsibilities to put some responsibilities on students.
In general, universities promote rights and privileges, Joffe asserts. While agreeing with that general trend, his program singles out two areas in which responsibility is emphasized. One is that students have a responsibility to self-welfare, self-guardianship and self-care. The second is that they have a responsibility to the university community to carry themselves in a way that is not violent or disruptive.
Students are held accountable. Among those students who have threatened or attempted suicide, protecting themselves becomes a condition of living in the community. That's the leverage a college can exert: as the University of Illinois does, it can make self-guardianship a condition of continued enrollment.
It's the standard of guardianship that is novel. "The main problem with suicide prevention is that in the absence of a standard of self-welfare, there's little the mental health community can do to help." He points out that suicide prevention has something to learn from statutes to prevent cruelty to animals. "In at least 48 states, it's now a crime to commit violence to companion animals, and in six states there's mandated treatment. The privilege of ownership that permitted violence towards a pet has been replaced by a standard of guardianship. Something similar needs to happen with suicide. Perhaps we don't have the privilege to harm ourselves."
College and suicide are "unlikely companions," says Joffe. College is a time of promise and hope. Suicide is seen as the last resort of the hopeless. If college is an unlikely setting in which to commit suicide, it is the ideal setting in which to prevent it.
Phil Satow agrees. Satow knows a lot about suicide, and he learned it the hard way. He runs the Jed Foundation, named for his son, who committed suicide "out of the blue" while a student at the University of Arizona in 1998. The foundation has a very clear mission: to dramatically lower the suicide rate on college campuses.
He thinks Joffe's approach to dealing with kids who talk about or attempt suicide is necessary. And he admires Joffe's concept of self-guardianship. "You have a responsibility for taking care of yourself," says Satow. "It becomes part of the culture of the campus. And you take care of other kids in the community. That creates a healthy environment."
But no single approach to preventing suicide is sufficient. Satow contends that the long-term answer is not waiting for kids who attempt suicide. He would go all the way to having prevention strategies that change the culture on campus to promote health.
Power!...I find this very interesting as I too have this suicidal thoughts for a long long time. The funny thing is that thru this thought I am not fearful about the future when I become so sick that I need to die. "It wouldn't be a surprise to know that while suicidal person might or might not feel distressed about conditions in their lives, they generally don't feel distressed about being suicidal. Many will openly admit that being suicidal; it's one of the few, if not the only, bright spots in their lives." Yes! I fully agreed to this statement. In fact, I am not distressed about being suicidal at all but I find this as "empowering" myself when the final moment come. Would hate myself being in that helpless situation with all the tubes going thru the veins and openings, and being not in control or able to do anything to change the situation. That is also why I would support any movement by the government to stop life support once the patient choose to end his/her own life.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Gemini man - Sat's horoscope
Dear Goh,
Here is your horoscope
for Saturday, November 25:
All of your efforts pay off when you realize there's a whole new way to look at this situation. You may not understand what the point of all this work is, but you'll soon see that you were meant to be on this new path.
Hahaha....well, hope this path will be a good one. So far this year, I didn't have the luck to follow the right path. The right path to me....is one that does not give me more worries and stress. It is okay if things remain at low profile at work, as I am not seeking fame or to be a hero. All said....just want to have peace of mind and to stay healthy.
Here is your horoscope
for Saturday, November 25:
All of your efforts pay off when you realize there's a whole new way to look at this situation. You may not understand what the point of all this work is, but you'll soon see that you were meant to be on this new path.
Hahaha....well, hope this path will be a good one. So far this year, I didn't have the luck to follow the right path. The right path to me....is one that does not give me more worries and stress. It is okay if things remain at low profile at work, as I am not seeking fame or to be a hero. All said....just want to have peace of mind and to stay healthy.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Thursday
Went to the polyclinic this morning for the review of my sinusistis, but had to see another doctor. So now, I can understand why it may not be possible to see the same doctor. There are many doctors in the polyclinic.
For my sinusistis, still having the tail-end of the problem and I am still not out of the problem. Had to take 2 extra strength panadol in order to continue with my work for today.
But after waking up from my afternoon nap, I had problem with the whole body aching.
Could be due to the air-con.
At work....there are also changes. Vincent Lim has already being transferred over to our area starting on last Monday morning. Then Mariana came in the evening....hahaha be reporting together with us in the "D" team.
For my sinusistis, still having the tail-end of the problem and I am still not out of the problem. Had to take 2 extra strength panadol in order to continue with my work for today.
But after waking up from my afternoon nap, I had problem with the whole body aching.
Could be due to the air-con.
At work....there are also changes. Vincent Lim has already being transferred over to our area starting on last Monday morning. Then Mariana came in the evening....hahaha be reporting together with us in the "D" team.
Another power comment from Anonymous
The Purpose of Life - Rick Warren
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven..
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity.
This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore..
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."
But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder.
For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence.
He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.
We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions?
Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness?Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God , if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...
God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God,
And die to find out there isn't,
Than live my life as if there isn't,
And die to find out there is.
4:12 AM
POWER....thanks Anonymous for your interesting comment above.
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven..
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity.
This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore..
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."
But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder.
For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence.
He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.
We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions?
Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness?Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God , if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...
God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
I would rather live my life as if there is a God,
And die to find out there isn't,
Than live my life as if there isn't,
And die to find out there is.
4:12 AM
POWER....thanks Anonymous for your interesting comment above.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Hahaha... more comments from Anonymous
Some of life's quick fixes
WHY make things difficult for yourself?
Sometimes simplicity is the best solution to life's nagging problems. You just have to be creative when you look for a solution.
1. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
2. Avoid all arguments about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
3. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
4. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
5. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Also remember the basic rules of living:
i) Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
ii) Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
iii) Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
4:00 AM
Hahaha...thank you again for taking time to share your thoughts here.
Man! very interesting but I think I will just stick to remember Anonymous's basic rules of living. As it makes the most senses
WHY make things difficult for yourself?
Sometimes simplicity is the best solution to life's nagging problems. You just have to be creative when you look for a solution.
1. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
2. Avoid all arguments about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
3. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
4. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
5. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Also remember the basic rules of living:
i) Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
ii) Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
iii) Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
4:00 AM
Hahaha...thank you again for taking time to share your thoughts here.
Man! very interesting but I think I will just stick to remember Anonymous's basic rules of living. As it makes the most senses
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