Another new month - December

POWER....13 mth pay again, wow so fast and this year is gone.

Looking back at the past 11 mths, and there are lots of things I should have done differently and the outcome would have been better. First....just stick to what I
have learned over the past 20 years about the stock market, would have surely stand
me at good stead but somehow due to greed and peer-pressure to make more that caused
me to lose all that I have won and plus suffer another big lost.

The answer....is still greed.

Guess whatever one's suffering....it will always be back to the same cycle of pains
because greed cannot go away. Human has short momery....shorter still if easy money is concern.

One sure way to overcome this issue once and for all.....is to die. Death can be the only way out. Frankly....I too won't mind the thought of it, in fact I wish for this to happen asap. I really hate myself for all my past mistakes.

Now....even if I had a million dollars, I really believe that I won't be able to hold on to it for long....I will still somehow lose it all very soon, one way or another. Unless....I can totally "remake" myself, totally give up my present way of thinking and life style. Yes....if I go away from here, totally not touch internet and live life far away from the city. Be a monk alone in the hill....just far away from anyone then maybe I can hold on to the million. hahaha....then again why do I need the million for? Since I won't be spending the million....no point having the money if one won't be spending it. Again another pointless thought.

Okay...maybe if I just go away and find a purpose, maybe like to help the orphans in some far away land. For that....I must have money, again $$$$$$$ and more $$$$$$$ in order to be of help. So....back to greed again.

At the end of all these "yo-yo" thoughts...death is the best way out for all these headaches.