Well....and again, saturday is here and this being my last day at work for this week and i can look forward to my 3 rest days.
Lately...no luck at 4D and the stock market. In fact for the 4D, I have been missing out on the top prizes for the past month...almost every week. I have also consulted the medium at Blk 620 Hougang Ave 4. She also told me that I have a nice chance of getting the top prize in 4D....but till to-date, came out nothing to show for it. 1st time she said...due to the fact that I went against her advice about not join in for the "white issue" - ( funeral ). So when I went to Tc's mother wake, I was told becoz that...my luck take a turn for the worst.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
How to get intimate with your soulmate?
Intimacy" means being personally familiar with something. But you may ask, "what is my date's soul?" or "How do I become intimate with his or her soul?" And most importantly of all, "Why should I desire intimacy with someone's soul?"
Before answering these questions, let me tell you a true story. Years ago I met an extremely gifted singer. I was very taken with this attractive intelligent woman. And, apparently, she was very attracted to me. We began dating and quickly "fell in love." We made plans to spend the rest of our lives together. However, during our wedding engagement, we began to have major disagreements.
My fiancée had been singing publicly since she was a child, and her innermost desire was to travel the country singing and producing albums. Ultimately, our relationship crashed and burned. My deepest desire did not include living out of hotel rooms. I realize now that I had not spent enough time exploring this woman's soul.
The soul
I am defining the "soul" as that immaterial spiritual part of you that's deeper than your physical appearance, that's even deeper than your intellect or logical ability to reason. I am defining the "soul" as that part of you that houses your deepest desires. These desires possibly have the greatest impact on your values and govern why you do what you do on a daily basis.
It's very common to want to rush into a relationship commitment with a date you find outwardly attractive. It's so important to slow down and become familiar with your date's soul because your compatibility with your date's soul is the real measure of whether you both can develop a lasting relationship.
There are some probing questions that you can ask to help you become intimate with your date's soul. Here are some examples:
If someone gave you $10 million with no strings attached, what would you do with it?
If you could sit down to lunch with any 3 people (living or dead), who would they be?
Let's play a word game: I'll throw out a phrase, and you finish it with whatever comes to your mind. The phrase I want you to finish is, "My dream in life is to..."
Let's continue the game: The phrase I want you to finish is, "My mission in life is to..."
Some may consider the following questions too personal for a first date. However, keep these questions at the ready as you and the other person become comfortable talking about various things.
Don't interrogate
Please don't fire all the questions in rapid succession like a police interrogator -- the person being questioned might feel intimidated. Be as natural and conversational as possible when asking these questions:
What values do you hold most deeply?
What are the most important things in life?
What does happiness mean to you?
What would it take to make you happy?
Of course, a person could answer falsely and provide very noble values that he or she does not believe in. Your job will be to watch and analyze whether the person's actions reflect these values.
What are some of the traditions/rituals practiced in your family?
What event (negative or positive) was a turning point in your life or taught you something you didn't know about yourself?
Who are your mentors or role models?
Probe deeper
Consider meeting these mentors as they will sometimes tell you more about your date than he or she is actually willing to tell you.
Maybe you like the questions above but want to probe deeper into the soul of your date. If you feel it's appropriate, try asking these three questions:
If you only had 6 months to live, what would you do?
Where did the human race come from?
What is the meaning of life?
Of course, I can't guarantee that someone will give you honest answers to all of these questions. But if you can ask these questions and determine the real answers, you will truly begin to become intimate with your date's soul.
Oh, by the way, I did eventually find a beautiful woman whose soul was in harmony with mine. I married this woman and now live happily with her and our three children in a large home in Northern California.
Before answering these questions, let me tell you a true story. Years ago I met an extremely gifted singer. I was very taken with this attractive intelligent woman. And, apparently, she was very attracted to me. We began dating and quickly "fell in love." We made plans to spend the rest of our lives together. However, during our wedding engagement, we began to have major disagreements.
My fiancée had been singing publicly since she was a child, and her innermost desire was to travel the country singing and producing albums. Ultimately, our relationship crashed and burned. My deepest desire did not include living out of hotel rooms. I realize now that I had not spent enough time exploring this woman's soul.
The soul
I am defining the "soul" as that immaterial spiritual part of you that's deeper than your physical appearance, that's even deeper than your intellect or logical ability to reason. I am defining the "soul" as that part of you that houses your deepest desires. These desires possibly have the greatest impact on your values and govern why you do what you do on a daily basis.
It's very common to want to rush into a relationship commitment with a date you find outwardly attractive. It's so important to slow down and become familiar with your date's soul because your compatibility with your date's soul is the real measure of whether you both can develop a lasting relationship.
There are some probing questions that you can ask to help you become intimate with your date's soul. Here are some examples:
If someone gave you $10 million with no strings attached, what would you do with it?
If you could sit down to lunch with any 3 people (living or dead), who would they be?
Let's play a word game: I'll throw out a phrase, and you finish it with whatever comes to your mind. The phrase I want you to finish is, "My dream in life is to..."
Let's continue the game: The phrase I want you to finish is, "My mission in life is to..."
Some may consider the following questions too personal for a first date. However, keep these questions at the ready as you and the other person become comfortable talking about various things.
Don't interrogate
Please don't fire all the questions in rapid succession like a police interrogator -- the person being questioned might feel intimidated. Be as natural and conversational as possible when asking these questions:
What values do you hold most deeply?
What are the most important things in life?
What does happiness mean to you?
What would it take to make you happy?
Of course, a person could answer falsely and provide very noble values that he or she does not believe in. Your job will be to watch and analyze whether the person's actions reflect these values.
What are some of the traditions/rituals practiced in your family?
What event (negative or positive) was a turning point in your life or taught you something you didn't know about yourself?
Who are your mentors or role models?
Probe deeper
Consider meeting these mentors as they will sometimes tell you more about your date than he or she is actually willing to tell you.
Maybe you like the questions above but want to probe deeper into the soul of your date. If you feel it's appropriate, try asking these three questions:
If you only had 6 months to live, what would you do?
Where did the human race come from?
What is the meaning of life?
Of course, I can't guarantee that someone will give you honest answers to all of these questions. But if you can ask these questions and determine the real answers, you will truly begin to become intimate with your date's soul.
Oh, by the way, I did eventually find a beautiful woman whose soul was in harmony with mine. I married this woman and now live happily with her and our three children in a large home in Northern California.
Friday, September 29, 2006
A funny joke.
Subject: Great Joke
A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather
jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not
to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take
this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right
Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three
years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe
and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he
get a silken robe and golden staff?"
"Results," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he
drove, people prayed."
Moral of the story:
It's Performance, Not Position that Counts ...
A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather
jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not
to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take
this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right
Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three
years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe
and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he
get a silken robe and golden staff?"
"Results," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he
drove, people prayed."
Moral of the story:
It's Performance, Not Position that Counts ...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
What is love? A simple lesson for life....think about this.
A lovely lesson for life.
A student asks a teacher: What is love?The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy
field and choose the biggest paddy and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back
to pick.
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy,
but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw
another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting
for
him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to
realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he
know
he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went
back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better
one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person
The student asked: What is marriage then?
The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn
field and choose the biggest corn and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back
to pick.
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to
repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he
has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfied, and came back to the
teacher.
The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for
one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best
one you get.... this is marriage
Be courteous to all , but intimate with few , and let those few be well
tried before you give them your confidence.
A student asks a teacher: What is love?The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy
field and choose the biggest paddy and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back
to pick.
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy,
but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw
another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting
for
him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to
realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he
know
he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went
back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better
one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person
The student asked: What is marriage then?
The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn
field and choose the biggest corn and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back
to pick.
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to
repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he
has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfied, and came back to the
teacher.
The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for
one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best
one you get.... this is marriage
Be courteous to all , but intimate with few , and let those few be well
tried before you give them your confidence.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
The One Night Stand - from a woman point of view.
The One Night Stand
By Jen
Groggily she leans over and nudges the man next to her, “Doug, what time is it?” He rolls over and looks at the alarm clock. “It’s 8:30.” He rolls back to face her, “and my name’s Tom.”
Painful isn’t it? Scrunched your face up and thought, “That sucks!” Yeah it does suck, and it did for a friend of mine. But not at the time it happened— then it was a riot. My girlfriends and I giggled and hooted, “Better you than us!” We were all in our very early twenties. We were young, frisky, and uncommitted to any one person. One night stands were not taboo they were learning experiences, pleasurable encounters, and ways for us to experiment with our sexuality. It wasn’t until we were older and our lives had moved into a new stage—our acquaintances had grown from college friends and high school pals to work colleagues and adult associates—that we began to rethink and second guess our youthful romps. Either these new women (and it was always women) in our lives had never had a one night stand or they did and were never going to admit it. That’s when I realized that women are afraid of being labeled easy. And according to the “World’s” definition, if you’re a woman and you have a one night stand than label you it will.
But there are exceptions. And those exceptions are men. (Please don’t even try to tell me otherwise. Not ONCE in my entire life have I ever heard a man negatively referred to as a slut. Man whore? Sure, but even then there is a nudge-nudge, wink-wink that accompanies it. Two words: Wilt Chamberlain).
MEN are allowed to have one night stands. It’s a right of passage—the more notches in your bedpost the more of a man that you are. Well I hate to break it to you guys but you were having those one night stands with us women! We were right there with ya, funny thing is we aren’t allowed to put notches in our bedpost. Our right of passage is to stay as pure and virtuous as possible and wait for our wedding night! So while you men do your “stride of pride” we women are doomed to the “walk of shame”.
It’s ironic that I sit and write this article now; I’ve been married for less than a month. Part of me wants to don my prim and proper hat and dispense warnings about one night stands: the second thoughts, the low self-esteem, and the feeling of being uncomfortable afterwards. But I can’t. Sure, I’m in a committed relationship now, but that’s now; that’s after years of looking for the right person—and then finding him! I was single for a long time before this and I was lonely and uncommitted and not ready to settle down with one person. I did have one night stands and I don’t regret them either. I had fun, it was thrilling, I was safe and I had second thoughts afterward—but I made the conscious choice. So call me a slut, a skank, a whore, but no worries because it’s on you. YOU’RE the one that is uncomfortable with my decision. YOU’RE the one that thinks I’m promiscuous. Not me; I’m ok with the decisions I have made.
So go out and make your own decisions. Have fun and please be safe.
By Jen
Groggily she leans over and nudges the man next to her, “Doug, what time is it?” He rolls over and looks at the alarm clock. “It’s 8:30.” He rolls back to face her, “and my name’s Tom.”
Painful isn’t it? Scrunched your face up and thought, “That sucks!” Yeah it does suck, and it did for a friend of mine. But not at the time it happened— then it was a riot. My girlfriends and I giggled and hooted, “Better you than us!” We were all in our very early twenties. We were young, frisky, and uncommitted to any one person. One night stands were not taboo they were learning experiences, pleasurable encounters, and ways for us to experiment with our sexuality. It wasn’t until we were older and our lives had moved into a new stage—our acquaintances had grown from college friends and high school pals to work colleagues and adult associates—that we began to rethink and second guess our youthful romps. Either these new women (and it was always women) in our lives had never had a one night stand or they did and were never going to admit it. That’s when I realized that women are afraid of being labeled easy. And according to the “World’s” definition, if you’re a woman and you have a one night stand than label you it will.
But there are exceptions. And those exceptions are men. (Please don’t even try to tell me otherwise. Not ONCE in my entire life have I ever heard a man negatively referred to as a slut. Man whore? Sure, but even then there is a nudge-nudge, wink-wink that accompanies it. Two words: Wilt Chamberlain).
MEN are allowed to have one night stands. It’s a right of passage—the more notches in your bedpost the more of a man that you are. Well I hate to break it to you guys but you were having those one night stands with us women! We were right there with ya, funny thing is we aren’t allowed to put notches in our bedpost. Our right of passage is to stay as pure and virtuous as possible and wait for our wedding night! So while you men do your “stride of pride” we women are doomed to the “walk of shame”.
It’s ironic that I sit and write this article now; I’ve been married for less than a month. Part of me wants to don my prim and proper hat and dispense warnings about one night stands: the second thoughts, the low self-esteem, and the feeling of being uncomfortable afterwards. But I can’t. Sure, I’m in a committed relationship now, but that’s now; that’s after years of looking for the right person—and then finding him! I was single for a long time before this and I was lonely and uncommitted and not ready to settle down with one person. I did have one night stands and I don’t regret them either. I had fun, it was thrilling, I was safe and I had second thoughts afterward—but I made the conscious choice. So call me a slut, a skank, a whore, but no worries because it’s on you. YOU’RE the one that is uncomfortable with my decision. YOU’RE the one that thinks I’m promiscuous. Not me; I’m ok with the decisions I have made.
So go out and make your own decisions. Have fun and please be safe.
Having a Threesome - Is it a good idea?
Thinking In Threes: Having a Threesome - Is it a good idea?
By Mikayla
“Oh my Gosh! Do you see that woman over there? I would DIE to see the two of you going at it in bed and then maybe, I could join in!”
“I bet you would. Then you would run off with her and leave me all alone, right?”
“Hell no baby, you know you are the only woman for me!”
“Uh huh, sure, that is why you just fantasized about me and that other woman ‘doin’ you’ together in bed, cause I am the ONLY woman for you, right”
“Just forget I ever brought it up then!”
“Yeah, that is what I thought you said!”
This little conversation is more common than people think – and occurs between many happy couples every, single day. WHY? Well, basically, having a threesome – namely, two women being eagerly satisfied by the star player – the man – is the NUMBER 1 fantasy of men!
LADIES VOTE ONLY
What do you think about threesomes?
I'd NEVER do it!
I HAVE done it!
I do think about it, but I am not sure if I would
I would if the circumstance was right
View Results
What, may you ask, is the number one fantasy of women? Well, usually it is having sex with someone other than their hubby or boyfriend – someone famous usually. However, a close second is the exact same fantasy! YES, I said the “exact” same – meaning 2 women and one man!
Surprised? Research indicates that more women have lesbian erotic fantasies when it comes to thinking in threes than adding in another man. Perhaps this is because one man in any woman’s life is more than enough! No, I am just kidding. The more accepted answer is that our society breeds women to be closer - to touch, kiss, hold hands. This natural closeness that women share naturally transcends to sexual touch and erotic nature – not for every woman – but for many the leap to lesbianism is not as far as once imagined.
Of course, there is a huge difference between thinking in threes and doing the deed! There is much to consider before engaging in a threesome – and this article will explore the good and the bad – the reasons to and the reasons you may want to reconsider.
As always, it is important to remember that in a situation like this the decision is ultimately YOURS – no one can make you have a threesome, or definitively tell you “why” or “why not” to. However, sometimes being informed on a subject is the best way to weigh out your options. As a person who has had a few threesomes – I feel that I am advice based on my experience. Whether you take the advice is ultimately, up to you!
Is this fantasy really worth turning into a reality?
Ménage-a-YES?
There are many reasons that a couple should or would want to have a threesome:
* Sexually arousing * Exploring your sexuality
* Breathes new life into a relationship * Can bring the couple closer together
* You can learn about your lover * You can develop a whole new lifestyle or three-way relationship
BEFORE YOU BEGIN: Before any threesome is ever begun, it is essential to have ground rules. The couple should talk alone about what they are comfortable doing. Perhaps having sex with the new person is OK, but anal sex is not. Or, you would not like sex, but oral sex is OK. There has to be a set of rules associated with the play so that all people feel like there is a controlled environment full of mutual respect. Then, the third person should be informed of the rules. If that person knows that no kissing is allowed, or that there is no actual “sex” between her and the man – then she or he – will be prepared as well.
BE SAFE – USE PROTECTION: Please remember that threesomes are SEX – and when you have sex that you need to have condoms, dental dams and use birth control. HIV and AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases are really not worth the fun you will be having during your threesome. So please, play safe!
Fist and foremost, having a threesome can be an extremely, sexually arousing experience! Bringing another person into your bed and allowing your partner to explore things with that other person while you watch and engage as well – can be one of the most sexually freeing experiences of your life. It is like having a live porno film playing in which your partner is the star and you can interact at any time. Most people who have had threesomes – including myself – have said that it is probably the most sexually charged they have ever felt. All your sexual senses are doubled – you have another person to touch, kiss, fondle and have sex with - in a hundred different ways. The options become limitless when you are in a threesome dynamic. You may even learn new things about your partner by watching him or her with another person – being the proverbial “fly on the bedroom wall” as he or she receives pleasure from another.
Of course, one of the most wonderful things about having a threesome – particularly the standard Female – Female – Male (FFM) threesome—is that oftentimes at least one of the women in the threesome has not been with another woman. This can be a life changing event for her – or conversely, can be a grave disappointment. In my experience, the women who I was engaging in FFM threesomes with enjoyed their experiences with me and their boyfriends while they were in the moment. They let a side of them show that was either hidden or that they felt was too “taboo” to talk about. Being with another woman was something that they had wanted to do, but never felt comfortable exploring. All the women said it was the most sexually excited that they had ever been – just being with another woman.
Sometimes women crave the soft, sensual, sexual touch of another woman – but they are afraid of being labeled a “lesbian” – a FFM threesome will give them the opportunity to explore these feelings, without the stigma of a full-on lesbian encounter. Having the man there deflects from the lesbian aspects of the situation and makes it seem less intimidating.
In this respect, the sexual exploration of these hidden desires can be totally freeing. At the same time, the man who is observing and sometimes participating with the two women is enjoying his fantasy come to life! Watching two women having sex is the ultimate turn on for him. As he then integrates himself into the FF lovemaking – the new dynamic becomes one of ultimate sensual pleasure. He has 2 sets of breasts, 2 mouths, 2 vaginas – in which to explore. Plus, one whole, new woman on which to focus his attention.
The most important thing for the MAN to remember in a FFM threesome is – this is not your own private production of “Porn 101” in that we do NOT need instruction and direction! Let the women do their thing at THEIR pace! Everyone knows that women usually enjoy a much slower paced sex and foreplay session than their male counterparts – so the biggest issue with a threesome is that the man becomes so excited to have 2 naked women that he starts barking out orders and instructions while the women are just tying to get it going! RELAX! ENJOY! Take part when you can, look and enjoy the view when you can’t – and then when it is time to get into the action – go SLOW – you do not want this to be over in 2 seconds!
Conversely, if it is a MMF threesome, the men should be mindful that the woman needs some warm up time. If you attempt to just jam her full the moment you get into bed – the threesome is not likely to be successful! You still have to give her foreplay time – and since there are 2 of you to do it – you can divide the “work” between perhaps the top and the bottom half? Whatever your threesome experience – MMF or FFM – just remember to make it enjoyable for ALL persons involved!
Get in the Groove:
Now, there are limitless ways to explore having a threesome, here are some common dynamics:
*Tag-Teaming: Many times, the couple will enjoy “tag-teaming” the person who has been brought into the threesome – giving her – or him – the pleasure. This keeps the couple integrated together, as opposed to giving one pair a chance to interact alone. Frequently, the new person is placed on the bed and the couple teases and tantalized the new person until there is a frenzy of sexual tension. As discussed, it is usually agreed upon beforehand what will and will not occur during the threesome, so when it becomes time for sex – perhaps the man gets to have sex with the new woman, while the other woman gets to have oral sex performed on her. However it ends up playing out, tag-teaming works well for most threesomes.
*Taking Turns: Sometimes if it is a woman’s first time being with another woman, she may want to just experience that all to herself – without the man integrating himself into the mix. SORRY! If this is the case, you may have to just ‘take turns’ and have the women do their thing first. This gives the new woman a chance to explore her bi-curious side and not have the pressure of the man. Then, when their time is over – the couple may have sex – or the new person and the man may have sex – it all depends on the rules that you have set up. In this dynamic, most frequently it is only the women who have sex together – and then the couple finish off the night. The man is still happy – he got to watch his fantasy come true live and in color!!
*All In: This doesn’t necessarily work for first timers, but if you have had a threesome previously, then it might work for you. All in is when you just go for it and do what is pleasurable for you. There are no “rules of engagement” – except those previously set-up – and you just start playing and do what feels natural and good. The only problem with this technique is that it can get a little jumbled up sometimes – but hey, that can be a lot of fun!
*Oral Fixations: Frequently, the idea of a threesome is appealing, but the idea of letting your significant other have sex with the other person is not. So, the idea of allowing oral sex only becomes very appealing. This can be maneuvered with either the FFM or MMF threesome. For a FFM threesome, the couple would be allowed to have sex but only oral sex with the new woman, so after foreplay and oral is given to the new woman, the finale is usually the new woman on her back receiving oral sex by the woman in the couple – while she is in a doggy style and her significant other has sex with her and gets to enjoy the view from above.
In a MMF threesome, it really depends on the sexual orientation of the males – so this can be switched around quite a bit. Ideally, the new male receives oral sex while the woman has sex with her significant other – and it is much easier to perform oral sex on the man in various sexual positions. If it is the male in the couple who will be giving the oral sex – then the positions may be maneuvered to accommodate that as well.
The point is, no matter how you want to do your threesome – it really does help to have some sort of plan first as opposed to just all jumping into bed and going at it. If you don’t take the time to make rules, to get organized or to think about preventing against sexually transmitted diseases – a threesome will not be the best sexual experience of your life – it will definitely be the worst. So, take a few minutes, discuss it with your partner, get protection – and play it safe – all the time!!
Ménage-a-NO-NO!
Just as there are reasons TO have a threesome, there are just as many reasons to NOT have a threesome:
* It could ruin the relationship * Jealousy
* Constant reminders of ‘what you did with her / him’ * Sexually transmitted diseases
* Stalker threesome partners * Your partner cheats on you, cause now it is OK
All right, now I know that by writing THIS portion of this article all the glamour and glitz is going to go away from the notion of having a threesome – and for that I am sorry. However, I have to give both sides of the coin – and on this subject there is a good and a bad side.
Of course, the number 1 reason to NOT have a threesome is that it might (notice I wrote MIGHT) ultimately ruin your relationship. Let’s face it, watching your partner having any kind of sexual experience with another person is just not a normal thing for most people. In my personal experience, in all my threesomes I was the person brought IN, so I didn’t have to watch my significant other having sex with another woman. The one time I did have a MMF threesome with my partner – it was all about me – and there wasn’t any homosexual things going on – so it didn’t bother me at all, but it DID end up bothering my partner.
To withstand watching your partner having sex or even oral sex with another person you have to be extremely secure in your relationship. It is not something that many couples can do without the evil eye of jealousy eventually creeping in. In the moment, most couples are horny, sexually excited and happy to be having the threesome. However, afterward it becomes “I saw the way you touched her breasts” or “I saw the way you moaned when he was having sex with you.” Every action, touch, kiss – becomes something of contention. Even when 2 women are together it can be a source of tension – “what, are you a lesbian now?’
There are a million examples of things that can and have been said by partners who have had threesomes. Most often, one of the people in the relationship wants to have another threesome and the other partner does not. This is what starts the debate of “what, am I not good enough anymore?” or “you just want to be with her again don’t you?”
Soon, there is nothing but doubt and resentment in the relationship where there should be love and happiness. It is an unfortunate state of being for many couples. I am not saying ALL couples – just many couples. As I stated before, to be able to withstand watching your partner have sexual interaction with another – you have to be very secure in your relationship.
*Sexual Stalkers - It is true, occasionally the person who is brought in to the threesome becomes fixated with the couple, or one person in the couple, and wants to have another threesome. This person continually calls or tries to re-engage the couple into having another threesome. This can become extremely detrimental to the relationship. If you have not carefully chosen the right person to bring into your bed – that person may assume that he or she is going to become a permanent fixture there. This is why it is extremely important to set rules, to state if it is a one time event or a continuing event – and to attempt to keep as much privacy as possible.
*Where did I get that blister? – Sexually transmitted diseases are no laughing matter – and in today’s day and age, jumping into bed with someone whom you do not know is literally like playing Russian Roulette with your life. So, when you are having notions of a threesome, resist the urge to go to the corner bar and pick up the first hot girl or guy you meet and not use protection when you are having sex! The satisfaction you are having is fleeting compared to the lifetime of illness you can experience if you do not protect yourself or your partner. Be responsible, be safe and ALWAYS have safe sex – I can not say it enough.
*But I already slept with another woman last week! – It is unfortunate, but many, many couples will die after a threesome because one partner decided that if their partner let them have a threesome, that must mean that cheating is OK. I also must be honest and say, that I sort of understand the logic here – you did allow your significant other to venture outside the sanctity of the relationship and have sex with another person – albeit you were watching – but that is beside the point.
In my threesome experiences, all of the men came to me after and wanted to have sex with JUST ME – and not a threesome. They were going to cheat. I said NO, and asked why they thought they could now cheat, and all said, “Well, she let me do you before, so why can’t I do you now? It isn’t like I am going to get a girl on the street!”
So there you go – I am quite sure it goes for women too – but in my personal experience, it was the men who rationalized this behavior in this manner. I think that it is unfortunate, but once you say it is OK to step outside the bounds of the relationship, and then it does sort of seem OK to do so. I am not defending the cheaters – and I do think the relationships were probably doomed anyway – but, I do think that if you have a threesome, then it is like giving your significant other a little “push” in the wrong direction.
Keep it a Fantasy!
As I said in the beginning of this article, having a threesome is the Number 1 fantasy of MEN and the Number 2 fantasy for women – so, if you are unsure of whether or not to have a threesome – why not keep it a fantasy? Some sexual fantasies we are better off just leaving fantasies – and some we can act out. If you are unsure, even after this article – or you have decided that you are NOT going to have a threesome – then there are ways to bring your fantasy to life.
For women, having 2 men brings to mind the idea of Double Penetration. Hell, you don’t need 2 men to accomplish this! You can get yourself a nice Vibrator, Dildo or Dong – and have your significant other anally penetrate you with either the vibrator or his penis and then vaginally penetrate you with the other! This will give you the sensation of having 2 men – without all the complication of dealing with 2! Also, the sensations for HIM while he is penetrating you with your anal canal full will be outstanding! I would highly recommend the BLUE CORKSCREW for any beginner interested in this activity. It is smaller, it vibrates, and it is textured – you will love it!
Now, if a woman wants to be with another woman – there isn’t much we can do about providing another vagina – unless you want to get a BLOW UP DOLL or a REALISTIC VAGINA to play with. It might sound strange, but for some women, just the idea of looking at another vagina and fingering it is enough to get them sexually charged. So, if you have a replication on hand, and you can set it on the bed to play with while your man does you doggy style – what could be better than that? With a little imagination, your man can imagine that the vagina is attached to another beautiful woman – and, he can use it for his own pleasure later on! Double bonus!
This concept would also work well for a man who wants to be with 2 women – he would have the benefit of 2 vaginas! Using your imagination – experiences like this can really add dimension to your playtime – and, for many people, it is much safer than experimenting with the real thing!
Making Fantasy a Reality!
If you have thought it through, discussed it, and decided that a threesome is still something you want to do – then there are a few more things left to decide. The first is, where to get the third person? Do you go with the hottie who lives next door? How about an ad in the paper? A bar perhaps? This can be the worst part of a threesome – finding the third person.
Listen, I completely understand your want and need to have a threesome – I have been there. I enjoyed and definitely do not regret my threesomes – the experiences themselves that is. However, I did learn one very, very important thing – DO NOT HAVE A THREESOME WITH A GOOD FRIEND! You will loose that friend. I know the temptation is there to go with the familiar, someone who you know, trust and are attracted to. However, if one of the bad possibilities occurs in this threesome – then you have not only lost a significant other – but a friend as well.
In my threesome experiences, all of them were with friends or friends of friends, and I ended up loosing my 2 good friends in 2 of the cases because the man decided to pursue me after the threesome was over. This is not uncommon – but of course, is not exclusive either. So, my advice is not to use a good friend for the 3rd in your threesome!
Therefore, the problem becomes – where do you find the 3rd? Well, many people look online, in the papers – yes, the papers, or just go to bars and start asking around. There is no ‘better” way than others – but there are “safer” ways. I would say that going with people whom you know, or at least someone you know knows is safer than picking up a complete stranger! Not only for the STD risk, but general safety as well.
Also, it is hard to imagine having sex with someone you have NEVER interacted, so at least spending some time to meet them and talk with them in a non-sexual environment would be ideal. See if this person is even someone whom you both would enjoy interacting with. Discuss the rules, the place, time – if you are going to eat or drink beforehand. These things will be important later.
Once you have found your perfect 3rd – and the night is set – I would NOT recommend being drunk or impaired in any major way. I think people should be cognizant when they make major life decisions such as this – so being drunk or high is not the way to go here. Also, discuss what will happen afterward. Usually, there is an awkward time – does he or she stay or go? Do you get dressed, eat, drink? Does he or she leave immediately? What is the protocol? Make sure these things are discussed.
One of the most important things for the couple to discuss is a “signal” or “safe word.” If the situation is getting way out of hand, uncomfortable, or if the new person is doing something that makes either of you uncomfortable. In this way, you can alert your partner to potential issues – stop the play – talk it out – or stop it all together. Frequently, one person will decide that having a threesome is something that he or she cannot handle, and it is important that the other partner respects that decision.
Decision Time!
Well, this article is just a little insight into the world of threesomes! There are many things to consider – much more than you probably thought previously! I have had my experiences with threesomes – and for the most part – I enjoyed them. They worked out well for me (as I wasn’t in relationships at the time) and I now have those memories and experiences to fall back on.
I would not do a threesome now that I am married – that, to me, is out of the question. Now it is up to you – are you going to have a threesome or just keep it a fantasy? Whatever you decide – remember to play safe! I truly hope for those of you who venture into the land of the threesome that it is all that you hope and want it to be and that your relationship makes it through! For those of you who don’t decide to have one – keep it a fantasy – talk about it, write about it, tell your partner your dreams – sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality – and that my friends, is the truth!
By Mikayla
“Oh my Gosh! Do you see that woman over there? I would DIE to see the two of you going at it in bed and then maybe, I could join in!”
“I bet you would. Then you would run off with her and leave me all alone, right?”
“Hell no baby, you know you are the only woman for me!”
“Uh huh, sure, that is why you just fantasized about me and that other woman ‘doin’ you’ together in bed, cause I am the ONLY woman for you, right”
“Just forget I ever brought it up then!”
“Yeah, that is what I thought you said!”
This little conversation is more common than people think – and occurs between many happy couples every, single day. WHY? Well, basically, having a threesome – namely, two women being eagerly satisfied by the star player – the man – is the NUMBER 1 fantasy of men!
LADIES VOTE ONLY
What do you think about threesomes?
I'd NEVER do it!
I HAVE done it!
I do think about it, but I am not sure if I would
I would if the circumstance was right
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What, may you ask, is the number one fantasy of women? Well, usually it is having sex with someone other than their hubby or boyfriend – someone famous usually. However, a close second is the exact same fantasy! YES, I said the “exact” same – meaning 2 women and one man!
Surprised? Research indicates that more women have lesbian erotic fantasies when it comes to thinking in threes than adding in another man. Perhaps this is because one man in any woman’s life is more than enough! No, I am just kidding. The more accepted answer is that our society breeds women to be closer - to touch, kiss, hold hands. This natural closeness that women share naturally transcends to sexual touch and erotic nature – not for every woman – but for many the leap to lesbianism is not as far as once imagined.
Of course, there is a huge difference between thinking in threes and doing the deed! There is much to consider before engaging in a threesome – and this article will explore the good and the bad – the reasons to and the reasons you may want to reconsider.
As always, it is important to remember that in a situation like this the decision is ultimately YOURS – no one can make you have a threesome, or definitively tell you “why” or “why not” to. However, sometimes being informed on a subject is the best way to weigh out your options. As a person who has had a few threesomes – I feel that I am advice based on my experience. Whether you take the advice is ultimately, up to you!
Is this fantasy really worth turning into a reality?
Ménage-a-YES?
There are many reasons that a couple should or would want to have a threesome:
* Sexually arousing * Exploring your sexuality
* Breathes new life into a relationship * Can bring the couple closer together
* You can learn about your lover * You can develop a whole new lifestyle or three-way relationship
BEFORE YOU BEGIN: Before any threesome is ever begun, it is essential to have ground rules. The couple should talk alone about what they are comfortable doing. Perhaps having sex with the new person is OK, but anal sex is not. Or, you would not like sex, but oral sex is OK. There has to be a set of rules associated with the play so that all people feel like there is a controlled environment full of mutual respect. Then, the third person should be informed of the rules. If that person knows that no kissing is allowed, or that there is no actual “sex” between her and the man – then she or he – will be prepared as well.
BE SAFE – USE PROTECTION: Please remember that threesomes are SEX – and when you have sex that you need to have condoms, dental dams and use birth control. HIV and AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases are really not worth the fun you will be having during your threesome. So please, play safe!
Fist and foremost, having a threesome can be an extremely, sexually arousing experience! Bringing another person into your bed and allowing your partner to explore things with that other person while you watch and engage as well – can be one of the most sexually freeing experiences of your life. It is like having a live porno film playing in which your partner is the star and you can interact at any time. Most people who have had threesomes – including myself – have said that it is probably the most sexually charged they have ever felt. All your sexual senses are doubled – you have another person to touch, kiss, fondle and have sex with - in a hundred different ways. The options become limitless when you are in a threesome dynamic. You may even learn new things about your partner by watching him or her with another person – being the proverbial “fly on the bedroom wall” as he or she receives pleasure from another.
Of course, one of the most wonderful things about having a threesome – particularly the standard Female – Female – Male (FFM) threesome—is that oftentimes at least one of the women in the threesome has not been with another woman. This can be a life changing event for her – or conversely, can be a grave disappointment. In my experience, the women who I was engaging in FFM threesomes with enjoyed their experiences with me and their boyfriends while they were in the moment. They let a side of them show that was either hidden or that they felt was too “taboo” to talk about. Being with another woman was something that they had wanted to do, but never felt comfortable exploring. All the women said it was the most sexually excited that they had ever been – just being with another woman.
Sometimes women crave the soft, sensual, sexual touch of another woman – but they are afraid of being labeled a “lesbian” – a FFM threesome will give them the opportunity to explore these feelings, without the stigma of a full-on lesbian encounter. Having the man there deflects from the lesbian aspects of the situation and makes it seem less intimidating.
In this respect, the sexual exploration of these hidden desires can be totally freeing. At the same time, the man who is observing and sometimes participating with the two women is enjoying his fantasy come to life! Watching two women having sex is the ultimate turn on for him. As he then integrates himself into the FF lovemaking – the new dynamic becomes one of ultimate sensual pleasure. He has 2 sets of breasts, 2 mouths, 2 vaginas – in which to explore. Plus, one whole, new woman on which to focus his attention.
The most important thing for the MAN to remember in a FFM threesome is – this is not your own private production of “Porn 101” in that we do NOT need instruction and direction! Let the women do their thing at THEIR pace! Everyone knows that women usually enjoy a much slower paced sex and foreplay session than their male counterparts – so the biggest issue with a threesome is that the man becomes so excited to have 2 naked women that he starts barking out orders and instructions while the women are just tying to get it going! RELAX! ENJOY! Take part when you can, look and enjoy the view when you can’t – and then when it is time to get into the action – go SLOW – you do not want this to be over in 2 seconds!
Conversely, if it is a MMF threesome, the men should be mindful that the woman needs some warm up time. If you attempt to just jam her full the moment you get into bed – the threesome is not likely to be successful! You still have to give her foreplay time – and since there are 2 of you to do it – you can divide the “work” between perhaps the top and the bottom half? Whatever your threesome experience – MMF or FFM – just remember to make it enjoyable for ALL persons involved!
Get in the Groove:
Now, there are limitless ways to explore having a threesome, here are some common dynamics:
*Tag-Teaming: Many times, the couple will enjoy “tag-teaming” the person who has been brought into the threesome – giving her – or him – the pleasure. This keeps the couple integrated together, as opposed to giving one pair a chance to interact alone. Frequently, the new person is placed on the bed and the couple teases and tantalized the new person until there is a frenzy of sexual tension. As discussed, it is usually agreed upon beforehand what will and will not occur during the threesome, so when it becomes time for sex – perhaps the man gets to have sex with the new woman, while the other woman gets to have oral sex performed on her. However it ends up playing out, tag-teaming works well for most threesomes.
*Taking Turns: Sometimes if it is a woman’s first time being with another woman, she may want to just experience that all to herself – without the man integrating himself into the mix. SORRY! If this is the case, you may have to just ‘take turns’ and have the women do their thing first. This gives the new woman a chance to explore her bi-curious side and not have the pressure of the man. Then, when their time is over – the couple may have sex – or the new person and the man may have sex – it all depends on the rules that you have set up. In this dynamic, most frequently it is only the women who have sex together – and then the couple finish off the night. The man is still happy – he got to watch his fantasy come true live and in color!!
*All In: This doesn’t necessarily work for first timers, but if you have had a threesome previously, then it might work for you. All in is when you just go for it and do what is pleasurable for you. There are no “rules of engagement” – except those previously set-up – and you just start playing and do what feels natural and good. The only problem with this technique is that it can get a little jumbled up sometimes – but hey, that can be a lot of fun!
*Oral Fixations: Frequently, the idea of a threesome is appealing, but the idea of letting your significant other have sex with the other person is not. So, the idea of allowing oral sex only becomes very appealing. This can be maneuvered with either the FFM or MMF threesome. For a FFM threesome, the couple would be allowed to have sex but only oral sex with the new woman, so after foreplay and oral is given to the new woman, the finale is usually the new woman on her back receiving oral sex by the woman in the couple – while she is in a doggy style and her significant other has sex with her and gets to enjoy the view from above.
In a MMF threesome, it really depends on the sexual orientation of the males – so this can be switched around quite a bit. Ideally, the new male receives oral sex while the woman has sex with her significant other – and it is much easier to perform oral sex on the man in various sexual positions. If it is the male in the couple who will be giving the oral sex – then the positions may be maneuvered to accommodate that as well.
The point is, no matter how you want to do your threesome – it really does help to have some sort of plan first as opposed to just all jumping into bed and going at it. If you don’t take the time to make rules, to get organized or to think about preventing against sexually transmitted diseases – a threesome will not be the best sexual experience of your life – it will definitely be the worst. So, take a few minutes, discuss it with your partner, get protection – and play it safe – all the time!!
Ménage-a-NO-NO!
Just as there are reasons TO have a threesome, there are just as many reasons to NOT have a threesome:
* It could ruin the relationship * Jealousy
* Constant reminders of ‘what you did with her / him’ * Sexually transmitted diseases
* Stalker threesome partners * Your partner cheats on you, cause now it is OK
All right, now I know that by writing THIS portion of this article all the glamour and glitz is going to go away from the notion of having a threesome – and for that I am sorry. However, I have to give both sides of the coin – and on this subject there is a good and a bad side.
Of course, the number 1 reason to NOT have a threesome is that it might (notice I wrote MIGHT) ultimately ruin your relationship. Let’s face it, watching your partner having any kind of sexual experience with another person is just not a normal thing for most people. In my personal experience, in all my threesomes I was the person brought IN, so I didn’t have to watch my significant other having sex with another woman. The one time I did have a MMF threesome with my partner – it was all about me – and there wasn’t any homosexual things going on – so it didn’t bother me at all, but it DID end up bothering my partner.
To withstand watching your partner having sex or even oral sex with another person you have to be extremely secure in your relationship. It is not something that many couples can do without the evil eye of jealousy eventually creeping in. In the moment, most couples are horny, sexually excited and happy to be having the threesome. However, afterward it becomes “I saw the way you touched her breasts” or “I saw the way you moaned when he was having sex with you.” Every action, touch, kiss – becomes something of contention. Even when 2 women are together it can be a source of tension – “what, are you a lesbian now?’
There are a million examples of things that can and have been said by partners who have had threesomes. Most often, one of the people in the relationship wants to have another threesome and the other partner does not. This is what starts the debate of “what, am I not good enough anymore?” or “you just want to be with her again don’t you?”
Soon, there is nothing but doubt and resentment in the relationship where there should be love and happiness. It is an unfortunate state of being for many couples. I am not saying ALL couples – just many couples. As I stated before, to be able to withstand watching your partner have sexual interaction with another – you have to be very secure in your relationship.
*Sexual Stalkers - It is true, occasionally the person who is brought in to the threesome becomes fixated with the couple, or one person in the couple, and wants to have another threesome. This person continually calls or tries to re-engage the couple into having another threesome. This can become extremely detrimental to the relationship. If you have not carefully chosen the right person to bring into your bed – that person may assume that he or she is going to become a permanent fixture there. This is why it is extremely important to set rules, to state if it is a one time event or a continuing event – and to attempt to keep as much privacy as possible.
*Where did I get that blister? – Sexually transmitted diseases are no laughing matter – and in today’s day and age, jumping into bed with someone whom you do not know is literally like playing Russian Roulette with your life. So, when you are having notions of a threesome, resist the urge to go to the corner bar and pick up the first hot girl or guy you meet and not use protection when you are having sex! The satisfaction you are having is fleeting compared to the lifetime of illness you can experience if you do not protect yourself or your partner. Be responsible, be safe and ALWAYS have safe sex – I can not say it enough.
*But I already slept with another woman last week! – It is unfortunate, but many, many couples will die after a threesome because one partner decided that if their partner let them have a threesome, that must mean that cheating is OK. I also must be honest and say, that I sort of understand the logic here – you did allow your significant other to venture outside the sanctity of the relationship and have sex with another person – albeit you were watching – but that is beside the point.
In my threesome experiences, all of the men came to me after and wanted to have sex with JUST ME – and not a threesome. They were going to cheat. I said NO, and asked why they thought they could now cheat, and all said, “Well, she let me do you before, so why can’t I do you now? It isn’t like I am going to get a girl on the street!”
So there you go – I am quite sure it goes for women too – but in my personal experience, it was the men who rationalized this behavior in this manner. I think that it is unfortunate, but once you say it is OK to step outside the bounds of the relationship, and then it does sort of seem OK to do so. I am not defending the cheaters – and I do think the relationships were probably doomed anyway – but, I do think that if you have a threesome, then it is like giving your significant other a little “push” in the wrong direction.
Keep it a Fantasy!
As I said in the beginning of this article, having a threesome is the Number 1 fantasy of MEN and the Number 2 fantasy for women – so, if you are unsure of whether or not to have a threesome – why not keep it a fantasy? Some sexual fantasies we are better off just leaving fantasies – and some we can act out. If you are unsure, even after this article – or you have decided that you are NOT going to have a threesome – then there are ways to bring your fantasy to life.
For women, having 2 men brings to mind the idea of Double Penetration. Hell, you don’t need 2 men to accomplish this! You can get yourself a nice Vibrator, Dildo or Dong – and have your significant other anally penetrate you with either the vibrator or his penis and then vaginally penetrate you with the other! This will give you the sensation of having 2 men – without all the complication of dealing with 2! Also, the sensations for HIM while he is penetrating you with your anal canal full will be outstanding! I would highly recommend the BLUE CORKSCREW for any beginner interested in this activity. It is smaller, it vibrates, and it is textured – you will love it!
Now, if a woman wants to be with another woman – there isn’t much we can do about providing another vagina – unless you want to get a BLOW UP DOLL or a REALISTIC VAGINA to play with. It might sound strange, but for some women, just the idea of looking at another vagina and fingering it is enough to get them sexually charged. So, if you have a replication on hand, and you can set it on the bed to play with while your man does you doggy style – what could be better than that? With a little imagination, your man can imagine that the vagina is attached to another beautiful woman – and, he can use it for his own pleasure later on! Double bonus!
This concept would also work well for a man who wants to be with 2 women – he would have the benefit of 2 vaginas! Using your imagination – experiences like this can really add dimension to your playtime – and, for many people, it is much safer than experimenting with the real thing!
Making Fantasy a Reality!
If you have thought it through, discussed it, and decided that a threesome is still something you want to do – then there are a few more things left to decide. The first is, where to get the third person? Do you go with the hottie who lives next door? How about an ad in the paper? A bar perhaps? This can be the worst part of a threesome – finding the third person.
Listen, I completely understand your want and need to have a threesome – I have been there. I enjoyed and definitely do not regret my threesomes – the experiences themselves that is. However, I did learn one very, very important thing – DO NOT HAVE A THREESOME WITH A GOOD FRIEND! You will loose that friend. I know the temptation is there to go with the familiar, someone who you know, trust and are attracted to. However, if one of the bad possibilities occurs in this threesome – then you have not only lost a significant other – but a friend as well.
In my threesome experiences, all of them were with friends or friends of friends, and I ended up loosing my 2 good friends in 2 of the cases because the man decided to pursue me after the threesome was over. This is not uncommon – but of course, is not exclusive either. So, my advice is not to use a good friend for the 3rd in your threesome!
Therefore, the problem becomes – where do you find the 3rd? Well, many people look online, in the papers – yes, the papers, or just go to bars and start asking around. There is no ‘better” way than others – but there are “safer” ways. I would say that going with people whom you know, or at least someone you know knows is safer than picking up a complete stranger! Not only for the STD risk, but general safety as well.
Also, it is hard to imagine having sex with someone you have NEVER interacted, so at least spending some time to meet them and talk with them in a non-sexual environment would be ideal. See if this person is even someone whom you both would enjoy interacting with. Discuss the rules, the place, time – if you are going to eat or drink beforehand. These things will be important later.
Once you have found your perfect 3rd – and the night is set – I would NOT recommend being drunk or impaired in any major way. I think people should be cognizant when they make major life decisions such as this – so being drunk or high is not the way to go here. Also, discuss what will happen afterward. Usually, there is an awkward time – does he or she stay or go? Do you get dressed, eat, drink? Does he or she leave immediately? What is the protocol? Make sure these things are discussed.
One of the most important things for the couple to discuss is a “signal” or “safe word.” If the situation is getting way out of hand, uncomfortable, or if the new person is doing something that makes either of you uncomfortable. In this way, you can alert your partner to potential issues – stop the play – talk it out – or stop it all together. Frequently, one person will decide that having a threesome is something that he or she cannot handle, and it is important that the other partner respects that decision.
Decision Time!
Well, this article is just a little insight into the world of threesomes! There are many things to consider – much more than you probably thought previously! I have had my experiences with threesomes – and for the most part – I enjoyed them. They worked out well for me (as I wasn’t in relationships at the time) and I now have those memories and experiences to fall back on.
I would not do a threesome now that I am married – that, to me, is out of the question. Now it is up to you – are you going to have a threesome or just keep it a fantasy? Whatever you decide – remember to play safe! I truly hope for those of you who venture into the land of the threesome that it is all that you hope and want it to be and that your relationship makes it through! For those of you who don’t decide to have one – keep it a fantasy – talk about it, write about it, tell your partner your dreams – sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality – and that my friends, is the truth!
How do you Keep an Old Relationship New in Bed?
How do you Keep an Old Relationship New in Bed?
By Wendy Mastic Beach, NY
My husband’s birthday is just a few weeks away. After being married for 10 years, it starts to get difficult to find just the right gift. Especially for the man that has everything. I am sure many of you can relate.
The only thing I could think of was the fact that he always wants sex but there never seems to be enough time. Besides, that’s just a 10 minute thing, right? Now you know where my brain was at when I started surfing the internet looking for ideas. If my husband could have anything he wanted, I know without a doubt a good sex life would be at the top of the list. Ten years ago it was at the top of mine too. Then the career, children, and all those responsibilities showed up..and poof, it was gone.
A change in the bedroom can be a very exciting thing for both partners. All of sudden you find yourself making time and feeling excited about the time you will be together (remember that feeling years ago).
I started asking questions about my husband’s likes and dislikes, outside our normal routine of take your close off and hurry up, and our sex life started to change. Small questions like, “are you open to new things?” can really make your spouse wonder what you are up to and get that libido on the go. Before we started to communicate, my husband would never tell me a thing about what he liked in bed. Now just the other night, he asked me how I would feel about being tied up during sex. Woooow..was I surpised.
Well, the birthday present is on its way. I put together my own version of a couple’s kit based up my husband’s responses. I ended up purchasing Spanish Fly, Nipple Rings, Cock Rings, Message Oil, Flavored Oils, Porno DVD, and a really sexy leather outfit (all about the visuals)…I think this will be the best gift yet. It would not surprise me if I receive a whip, mask, and handcuffs for my birthday.
If you want a great sex life with your partner, communicate and be open for new things. I am not saying that everything out there is for everyone but what I am saying is that if you want to keep an ‘old’ relationship ‘new’ in bed try what you can to keep it alive.
By the way, this straight laced corporate Mom would love the handcuffs.
By Wendy Mastic Beach, NY
My husband’s birthday is just a few weeks away. After being married for 10 years, it starts to get difficult to find just the right gift. Especially for the man that has everything. I am sure many of you can relate.
The only thing I could think of was the fact that he always wants sex but there never seems to be enough time. Besides, that’s just a 10 minute thing, right? Now you know where my brain was at when I started surfing the internet looking for ideas. If my husband could have anything he wanted, I know without a doubt a good sex life would be at the top of the list. Ten years ago it was at the top of mine too. Then the career, children, and all those responsibilities showed up..and poof, it was gone.
A change in the bedroom can be a very exciting thing for both partners. All of sudden you find yourself making time and feeling excited about the time you will be together (remember that feeling years ago).
I started asking questions about my husband’s likes and dislikes, outside our normal routine of take your close off and hurry up, and our sex life started to change. Small questions like, “are you open to new things?” can really make your spouse wonder what you are up to and get that libido on the go. Before we started to communicate, my husband would never tell me a thing about what he liked in bed. Now just the other night, he asked me how I would feel about being tied up during sex. Woooow..was I surpised.
Well, the birthday present is on its way. I put together my own version of a couple’s kit based up my husband’s responses. I ended up purchasing Spanish Fly, Nipple Rings, Cock Rings, Message Oil, Flavored Oils, Porno DVD, and a really sexy leather outfit (all about the visuals)…I think this will be the best gift yet. It would not surprise me if I receive a whip, mask, and handcuffs for my birthday.
If you want a great sex life with your partner, communicate and be open for new things. I am not saying that everything out there is for everyone but what I am saying is that if you want to keep an ‘old’ relationship ‘new’ in bed try what you can to keep it alive.
By the way, this straight laced corporate Mom would love the handcuffs.
Hottie or Nottie: Would you give up looks for better sex?
Hottie or Nottie: Would you give up looks for better sex?
By Jen
There was a movie a while back called Kissing Jessica Stein and in it two of the women characters get into a discussion about “sexy ugly”—men who were ugly, but at the same time very sexy. My favorite sexy ugly guy is Steven Tyler. He’s not my type at all—he’s skinny, dresses peculiarly and has facial features that go beyond describable. Yet, I find him unbelievably sexy (so much so that I once woke myself up because I was having a dream induced orgasm about him!) Sexy ugly refers to a person (usually a guy) who isn’t necessarily good looking; however, they do exude sexiness. Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis and Benicio Del Toro could easily fall into the sexy ugly column for me.
Of course that’s all fine and dandy for chit chat among girlfriends, but what about in your own bedroom? Would you give up looks in your lover for more satisfaction in the bedroom? Recently Too Timid took a poll asking women that very question and received these results:
49% said Absolutely!
20% said No Way
31% said I Would Consider it
Most women would give up looks in their lover for dynamite sex!
I don’t have an average age for the women in this poll, but if I had to guess I would say most of the 49% who said Absolutely were over the age of 30. When I first became sexually active being with a “hottie” was the number one prerogative. It was an almost must to have a “hottie” in your bed and if you happened to bed a “nottie” you must have been beer goggling. But as I got older and became more aware of my own developing sexuality I realized that the men who were the best in bed and most attentive to my needs were more easily categorized as “notties” than “hotties”. Christine, 30, agreed with me. “As you get older I think you have a better idea of what you want and have the confidence to 1). Ask for it, and 2). Go after it.” Another friend Jessica, 32, also confirmed my feelings. “The older I get, the more looks take a back-seat to sexual satisfaction,” Jessica explained. “I find the buff, tough and solid guys are arrogant and non-committal while the softer, gentler, aging guys are sweeter… just because they are. My eye is still drawn first to a hottie (someone I find attractive), but I no longer turn down the nottie (short, balding, pot bellied) because they can be MUCH better lovers.”
So why would sexual satisfaction rank higher than looks when looking for a partner? Christine explained. “It's more about personal attraction than overall good looks, because you may come across someone that you wouldn't necessarily think is ‘your type’ and might not be as attractive to others as they are to you.” Looks were always the first thing that drew me to someone, but the person either became more attractive or more unattractive depending upon their personality. The average Joe who made me laugh until my sides hurt looked much more attractive at then end of a date than the good-looking stud that was rude to the wait staff and criticized everyone around him.
I’m not saying that “hotties” are bad in bed or that “notties” are always the best lovers—far from it. There’s the possibility of too ugly. According to Jessica, “I think PARTS of a body can be too ugly for one girl. Too much chest hair, for one. Maybe patchy balding for another, or a desperate pot-belly. Every girl has something that makes them weak in the knees (and not in the good way). If this discovery is made during the undressing stage, then it will be much more challenging to turn back. But I’d say leaving the scene of the crime is better for the guy’s ego than staying and retching.” And some “hotties” really are the real deal wrapped up in one nice, tight package! (I like to think that Prince William fits into this group).
It’s all a matter of opinion, an opinion you reach after educating yourself on the subject. Jessica agrees. “Even if it’s a one-off, that gave you little to no sexual satisfaction, it’s worth the try, once, don’t you think???” Yes Jessica, yes it is!
By Jen
There was a movie a while back called Kissing Jessica Stein and in it two of the women characters get into a discussion about “sexy ugly”—men who were ugly, but at the same time very sexy. My favorite sexy ugly guy is Steven Tyler. He’s not my type at all—he’s skinny, dresses peculiarly and has facial features that go beyond describable. Yet, I find him unbelievably sexy (so much so that I once woke myself up because I was having a dream induced orgasm about him!) Sexy ugly refers to a person (usually a guy) who isn’t necessarily good looking; however, they do exude sexiness. Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis and Benicio Del Toro could easily fall into the sexy ugly column for me.
Of course that’s all fine and dandy for chit chat among girlfriends, but what about in your own bedroom? Would you give up looks in your lover for more satisfaction in the bedroom? Recently Too Timid took a poll asking women that very question and received these results:
49% said Absolutely!
20% said No Way
31% said I Would Consider it
Most women would give up looks in their lover for dynamite sex!
I don’t have an average age for the women in this poll, but if I had to guess I would say most of the 49% who said Absolutely were over the age of 30. When I first became sexually active being with a “hottie” was the number one prerogative. It was an almost must to have a “hottie” in your bed and if you happened to bed a “nottie” you must have been beer goggling. But as I got older and became more aware of my own developing sexuality I realized that the men who were the best in bed and most attentive to my needs were more easily categorized as “notties” than “hotties”. Christine, 30, agreed with me. “As you get older I think you have a better idea of what you want and have the confidence to 1). Ask for it, and 2). Go after it.” Another friend Jessica, 32, also confirmed my feelings. “The older I get, the more looks take a back-seat to sexual satisfaction,” Jessica explained. “I find the buff, tough and solid guys are arrogant and non-committal while the softer, gentler, aging guys are sweeter… just because they are. My eye is still drawn first to a hottie (someone I find attractive), but I no longer turn down the nottie (short, balding, pot bellied) because they can be MUCH better lovers.”
So why would sexual satisfaction rank higher than looks when looking for a partner? Christine explained. “It's more about personal attraction than overall good looks, because you may come across someone that you wouldn't necessarily think is ‘your type’ and might not be as attractive to others as they are to you.” Looks were always the first thing that drew me to someone, but the person either became more attractive or more unattractive depending upon their personality. The average Joe who made me laugh until my sides hurt looked much more attractive at then end of a date than the good-looking stud that was rude to the wait staff and criticized everyone around him.
I’m not saying that “hotties” are bad in bed or that “notties” are always the best lovers—far from it. There’s the possibility of too ugly. According to Jessica, “I think PARTS of a body can be too ugly for one girl. Too much chest hair, for one. Maybe patchy balding for another, or a desperate pot-belly. Every girl has something that makes them weak in the knees (and not in the good way). If this discovery is made during the undressing stage, then it will be much more challenging to turn back. But I’d say leaving the scene of the crime is better for the guy’s ego than staying and retching.” And some “hotties” really are the real deal wrapped up in one nice, tight package! (I like to think that Prince William fits into this group).
It’s all a matter of opinion, an opinion you reach after educating yourself on the subject. Jessica agrees. “Even if it’s a one-off, that gave you little to no sexual satisfaction, it’s worth the try, once, don’t you think???” Yes Jessica, yes it is!
Submissive Behavior - for sexual satisfaction?
Submissive Behavior
Submissive Behavior
By Amy
After years of trying to deny it, I have embraced the fact that I’m a bit of a control freak. It works well in my career but can occasionally cause problems in my personal life. Recently my boyfriend told me I was too controlling in the bedroom with my sexual demands and it was making him uncomfortable. I thought I was being a good communicator but I was obviously pillow talking him right out of his sexual excitement. It was time to try something different that would put him in the driver’s seat, but I didn’t want to sacrifice my own sexual satisfaction.
The next time we were together we sat down to watch TV and I started playing a new DVD I bought called the Ultimate Sexual Massage. At first he rolled his eyes and said there was nothing he didn’t already know but when I told him I wanted to learn new ways to pleasure him, he suddenly became interested. The information on the program was great - it begins where other massage programs leave off and shows how lovers can give each other intimate and intense happy endings.
We learned how to find new erogenous zones, locate our G-spots, and how to give each other genital massages before intercourse. Each technique was demonstrated step by step along with a mini anatomy lesson which made everything easier to replicate on each other. I learned a lot and I loved watching my lover tilt his head in amazement while his brain absorbed some new techniques I knew he couldn’t wait to try out. Toward the end of the program there were some great sex scenes that left us both so turned on we started ripping each other’s clothes off. Once the DVD was done my boyfriend took my hand and led me to the bedroom where I had a bondage kit laying on the bed. It was nothing fancy and nothing intimidating; just some white silky hand ties and a blindfold. He looked at me and said with a mischievous smile, “Now you’re in trouble.”
Before I knew it I was under his complete control as I laid on the bed naked tied up and unable to see a thing. At first it was very uncomfortable but the attention my body was getting kept my mind off the total lack of control I was experiencing. After about
There is nothing like the feeling of being
blindfolded while your lover pleases you!
After about ten minutes and one major orgasm I felt my entire body relax and give into the experience. He was doing things to me I never experienced and I could tell the complete control thing was a huge turn on for him. My favorite part was when he explored me in very different ways and actually found my G spot; a place I thought only existed in urban legend. All I can say is this area can produce an amazing and very different full body orgasm that is much different from orgasm through clitoral stimulation. I now know why the G spot gets so much press because it lives up to all the hype.
Exhausted and satisfied from my multiple orgasms, my boyfriend took the ties off my hands but made me promise to keep the blindfold on. He then moved me around into different positions as he thrust himself inside of my very wet and engorged vagina with his hot engorged penis. The turn on for both of us was intense and very surprising for me. I couldn’t believe how something as simple as being tied up could result in amazing sex, but more importantly deeper feelings of trust and intimacy.
We still enjoy mixing our sex life up with bondage and when it’s my turn to tie him up I marvel at how easy it is for him to let go of his control, something I am still working on. I get turned on by watching him enjoy the moments of sensual and sexual pleasure especially when he knows his turn to tie me up is coming.
LESSONS LEARNED:
• It’s not just saying what you want; it’s how you go about saying it. I was able to get what I wanted in bed by showing him through a sex video rather than dictating to him while in bed.
• Sex videos can be a turn on, but more importantly they can be educational for both parties and can take you out of your hum drum sexual routine which can improve the quality of your relationship.
• While I still ask for some things, I realize I get more when I show him by doing. If I want a massage before having sex, I will give him one first to turn him on. Once he’s turned on and his body is screaming for sex a guy will be open to doing almost anything to get inside. Prolonging the foreplay and having fun makes for a much better sexual experience.
• The expression you can’t teach an old dog new tricks is completely wrong.
By Amy
After years of trying to deny it, I have embraced the fact that I’m a bit of a control freak. It works well in my career but can occasionally cause problems in my personal life. Recently my boyfriend told me I was too controlling in the bedroom with my sexual demands and it was making him uncomfortable. I thought I was being a good communicator but I was obviously pillow talking him right out of his sexual excitement. It was time to try something different that would put him in the driver’s seat, but I didn’t want to sacrifice my own sexual satisfaction.
The next time we were together we sat down to watch TV and I started playing a new DVD I bought called the Ultimate Sexual Massage. At first he rolled his eyes and said there was nothing he didn’t already know but when I told him I wanted to learn new ways to pleasure him, he suddenly became interested. The information on the program was great - it begins where other massage programs leave off and shows how lovers can give each other intimate and intense happy endings.
We learned how to find new erogenous zones, locate our G-spots, and how to give each other genital massages before intercourse. Each technique was demonstrated step by step along with a mini anatomy lesson which made everything easier to replicate on each other. I learned a lot and I loved watching my lover tilt his head in amazement while his brain absorbed some new techniques I knew he couldn’t wait to try out. Toward the end of the program there were some great sex scenes that left us both so turned on we started ripping each other’s clothes off. Once the DVD was done my boyfriend took my hand and led me to the bedroom where I had a bondage kit laying on the bed. It was nothing fancy and nothing intimidating; just some white silky hand ties and a blindfold. He looked at me and said with a mischievous smile, “Now you’re in trouble.”
Before I knew it I was under his complete control as I laid on the bed naked tied up and unable to see a thing. At first it was very uncomfortable but the attention my body was getting kept my mind off the total lack of control I was experiencing. After about
There is nothing like the feeling of being
blindfolded while your lover pleases you!
After about ten minutes and one major orgasm I felt my entire body relax and give into the experience. He was doing things to me I never experienced and I could tell the complete control thing was a huge turn on for him. My favorite part was when he explored me in very different ways and actually found my G spot; a place I thought only existed in urban legend. All I can say is this area can produce an amazing and very different full body orgasm that is much different from orgasm through clitoral stimulation. I now know why the G spot gets so much press because it lives up to all the hype.
Exhausted and satisfied from my multiple orgasms, my boyfriend took the ties off my hands but made me promise to keep the blindfold on. He then moved me around into different positions as he thrust himself inside of my very wet and engorged vagina with his hot engorged penis. The turn on for both of us was intense and very surprising for me. I couldn’t believe how something as simple as being tied up could result in amazing sex, but more importantly deeper feelings of trust and intimacy.
We still enjoy mixing our sex life up with bondage and when it’s my turn to tie him up I marvel at how easy it is for him to let go of his control, something I am still working on. I get turned on by watching him enjoy the moments of sensual and sexual pleasure especially when he knows his turn to tie me up is coming.
LESSONS LEARNED:
• It’s not just saying what you want; it’s how you go about saying it. I was able to get what I wanted in bed by showing him through a sex video rather than dictating to him while in bed.
• Sex videos can be a turn on, but more importantly they can be educational for both parties and can take you out of your hum drum sexual routine which can improve the quality of your relationship.
• While I still ask for some things, I realize I get more when I show him by doing. If I want a massage before having sex, I will give him one first to turn him on. Once he’s turned on and his body is screaming for sex a guy will be open to doing almost anything to get inside. Prolonging the foreplay and having fun makes for a much better sexual experience.
• The expression you can’t teach an old dog new tricks is completely wrong.
Submissive Behavior
By Amy
After years of trying to deny it, I have embraced the fact that I’m a bit of a control freak. It works well in my career but can occasionally cause problems in my personal life. Recently my boyfriend told me I was too controlling in the bedroom with my sexual demands and it was making him uncomfortable. I thought I was being a good communicator but I was obviously pillow talking him right out of his sexual excitement. It was time to try something different that would put him in the driver’s seat, but I didn’t want to sacrifice my own sexual satisfaction.
The next time we were together we sat down to watch TV and I started playing a new DVD I bought called the Ultimate Sexual Massage. At first he rolled his eyes and said there was nothing he didn’t already know but when I told him I wanted to learn new ways to pleasure him, he suddenly became interested. The information on the program was great - it begins where other massage programs leave off and shows how lovers can give each other intimate and intense happy endings.
We learned how to find new erogenous zones, locate our G-spots, and how to give each other genital massages before intercourse. Each technique was demonstrated step by step along with a mini anatomy lesson which made everything easier to replicate on each other. I learned a lot and I loved watching my lover tilt his head in amazement while his brain absorbed some new techniques I knew he couldn’t wait to try out. Toward the end of the program there were some great sex scenes that left us both so turned on we started ripping each other’s clothes off. Once the DVD was done my boyfriend took my hand and led me to the bedroom where I had a bondage kit laying on the bed. It was nothing fancy and nothing intimidating; just some white silky hand ties and a blindfold. He looked at me and said with a mischievous smile, “Now you’re in trouble.”
Before I knew it I was under his complete control as I laid on the bed naked tied up and unable to see a thing. At first it was very uncomfortable but the attention my body was getting kept my mind off the total lack of control I was experiencing. After about
There is nothing like the feeling of being
blindfolded while your lover pleases you!
After about ten minutes and one major orgasm I felt my entire body relax and give into the experience. He was doing things to me I never experienced and I could tell the complete control thing was a huge turn on for him. My favorite part was when he explored me in very different ways and actually found my G spot; a place I thought only existed in urban legend. All I can say is this area can produce an amazing and very different full body orgasm that is much different from orgasm through clitoral stimulation. I now know why the G spot gets so much press because it lives up to all the hype.
Exhausted and satisfied from my multiple orgasms, my boyfriend took the ties off my hands but made me promise to keep the blindfold on. He then moved me around into different positions as he thrust himself inside of my very wet and engorged vagina with his hot engorged penis. The turn on for both of us was intense and very surprising for me. I couldn’t believe how something as simple as being tied up could result in amazing sex, but more importantly deeper feelings of trust and intimacy.
We still enjoy mixing our sex life up with bondage and when it’s my turn to tie him up I marvel at how easy it is for him to let go of his control, something I am still working on. I get turned on by watching him enjoy the moments of sensual and sexual pleasure especially when he knows his turn to tie me up is coming.
LESSONS LEARNED:
• It’s not just saying what you want; it’s how you go about saying it. I was able to get what I wanted in bed by showing him through a sex video rather than dictating to him while in bed.
• Sex videos can be a turn on, but more importantly they can be educational for both parties and can take you out of your hum drum sexual routine which can improve the quality of your relationship.
• While I still ask for some things, I realize I get more when I show him by doing. If I want a massage before having sex, I will give him one first to turn him on. Once he’s turned on and his body is screaming for sex a guy will be open to doing almost anything to get inside. Prolonging the foreplay and having fun makes for a much better sexual experience.
• The expression you can’t teach an old dog new tricks is completely wrong.
By Amy
After years of trying to deny it, I have embraced the fact that I’m a bit of a control freak. It works well in my career but can occasionally cause problems in my personal life. Recently my boyfriend told me I was too controlling in the bedroom with my sexual demands and it was making him uncomfortable. I thought I was being a good communicator but I was obviously pillow talking him right out of his sexual excitement. It was time to try something different that would put him in the driver’s seat, but I didn’t want to sacrifice my own sexual satisfaction.
The next time we were together we sat down to watch TV and I started playing a new DVD I bought called the Ultimate Sexual Massage. At first he rolled his eyes and said there was nothing he didn’t already know but when I told him I wanted to learn new ways to pleasure him, he suddenly became interested. The information on the program was great - it begins where other massage programs leave off and shows how lovers can give each other intimate and intense happy endings.
We learned how to find new erogenous zones, locate our G-spots, and how to give each other genital massages before intercourse. Each technique was demonstrated step by step along with a mini anatomy lesson which made everything easier to replicate on each other. I learned a lot and I loved watching my lover tilt his head in amazement while his brain absorbed some new techniques I knew he couldn’t wait to try out. Toward the end of the program there were some great sex scenes that left us both so turned on we started ripping each other’s clothes off. Once the DVD was done my boyfriend took my hand and led me to the bedroom where I had a bondage kit laying on the bed. It was nothing fancy and nothing intimidating; just some white silky hand ties and a blindfold. He looked at me and said with a mischievous smile, “Now you’re in trouble.”
Before I knew it I was under his complete control as I laid on the bed naked tied up and unable to see a thing. At first it was very uncomfortable but the attention my body was getting kept my mind off the total lack of control I was experiencing. After about
There is nothing like the feeling of being
blindfolded while your lover pleases you!
After about ten minutes and one major orgasm I felt my entire body relax and give into the experience. He was doing things to me I never experienced and I could tell the complete control thing was a huge turn on for him. My favorite part was when he explored me in very different ways and actually found my G spot; a place I thought only existed in urban legend. All I can say is this area can produce an amazing and very different full body orgasm that is much different from orgasm through clitoral stimulation. I now know why the G spot gets so much press because it lives up to all the hype.
Exhausted and satisfied from my multiple orgasms, my boyfriend took the ties off my hands but made me promise to keep the blindfold on. He then moved me around into different positions as he thrust himself inside of my very wet and engorged vagina with his hot engorged penis. The turn on for both of us was intense and very surprising for me. I couldn’t believe how something as simple as being tied up could result in amazing sex, but more importantly deeper feelings of trust and intimacy.
We still enjoy mixing our sex life up with bondage and when it’s my turn to tie him up I marvel at how easy it is for him to let go of his control, something I am still working on. I get turned on by watching him enjoy the moments of sensual and sexual pleasure especially when he knows his turn to tie me up is coming.
LESSONS LEARNED:
• It’s not just saying what you want; it’s how you go about saying it. I was able to get what I wanted in bed by showing him through a sex video rather than dictating to him while in bed.
• Sex videos can be a turn on, but more importantly they can be educational for both parties and can take you out of your hum drum sexual routine which can improve the quality of your relationship.
• While I still ask for some things, I realize I get more when I show him by doing. If I want a massage before having sex, I will give him one first to turn him on. Once he’s turned on and his body is screaming for sex a guy will be open to doing almost anything to get inside. Prolonging the foreplay and having fun makes for a much better sexual experience.
• The expression you can’t teach an old dog new tricks is completely wrong.
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