Self Reflection

Then...doing the above, I think of the beautiful things and places I have done and seen then....again I realised what I have experienced is just a tiny bit of LIFE. I remember seeing the pictures of places that I never go to but only saw in the Internet. So beautiful, peaceful, serene, cool and awesome. Of the many other things in life that I can only witness on TV...travel and food shows.

I am just a tiny atom....living my life trying to earn enough money to feed my family plus I didn't travel lately due to my loses and with me trying to save money instead on travelling and to experience more of LIFE...I just sat and watch the travelling show via cable TV. To places that I never can think of.....MAN! what did I missed in this life????

Having to feel depressed about my job and also about what are happening but I also know that there is nothing much I can really do to help. It is like hopelessness and
also in the same time....thankful of being living here in Singapore!

Last Sunday...went to my mom's grave to lay flowers, it was her 7th anniversary. So fast....hope that she is in heaven now and blessing me and my family. Btw I am also ready to join her....guess it is about time too for me! Life is quite tiring! I am now pushing myself in the gym and swimming pool....yes! I am much fitter than anytime before. I remember that for "fit" people....death may come suddenly and fast too. Frankly the only thing I fear is that falling sick and dieding slowly. That will be a big disaster for my family in term of time and money wasted.

Thursday up-date

Feeling very shitty these past days...on Wed, missed my 1st prize for 4D and also after seeing the news regarding the earthquakes, tsunami, typhoons and dust storms can be pretty depressing for oneself. Just put myself in these people suffering from the above...suddenly lost everything from house, all the belongings plus family members in the few seconds of nightmare. The thing was that I had a nightmare on Monday night regarding being caught in a "hell" of a rain storm. I dreamt that the whole dark clouds forming above me....then I remember me telling myself how am I to get home in such situation in my car esp the road would be flooded by the water from the storm. All this while....the dark clouds were getting worst. And I suddenly woke up sweating....and I said LUCKY...SHIT that it was just a bad dream.
Then...with the storms hitting Phils and Vietnam, I could easily see the damages it would have caused. It won't be a pretty sight....lots of suffering for the people esp the poorer ones. The rich would just go live somewhere else.
Then....I was like, what can I complain about life in Singapore? I am shit lucky as compared to all the poor souls.
Again, yesterday with the earthquake in Indon and Samoa plus the tsunami thingy there. MAN! can really pity the people. When disaster hits....rich, poor, old and young will all felt the power of it then with the rich able to pack and run. The old, sick and injured....having to face the hardship to rebuild what they lost. During time like this...one can really question whether is there a GOD? Why the suffering? Why me? and so on.
So....how can I feel good when so many people are suffering? Isn't this a depressing time for whoever care about environments and people?