Another screwed-up day....

Man! if things will screwed-up then today...everything just screwed-up for me. After sleeping for a couple of hours, I had trouble to sleep well again. Then waking up with a big headache....took a couple of panadol then tried to sleep again. After all the trying, just give up and get ready to go to work.
At the company, only realised I forgot my handphone then after so long....look up at the clock only showing 8pm....I thought it was a long time already. Even time stops....shit day.
Wrong meps and all the drives failed due to wrong instruction from me....what the fxxx am I doing or thinking?
Football bets ....3 matches, lost 2 and win 1....that sum up my day. Just about everything touched...screw-up
for me. Even...honey prefer to do other things. Well....I was left alone, to think about my day hahaha.
Still....outstanding : the trip to china, to go or not to go? A headache question....don't go now, kena paid 50%
for backing out as what the tour company say. Go....honey not happy. I just don't want to think about it for this moment.....go, I can settle this issue once and for all then I can move on hopefully with a clean slate. If not then the baggage is always be in my car....reminding of my past, no end and no good will come out of this type of situation for all. Personally....I think I got to go and settle the issue then move on with my life.
I am looking at the calendar with a saying " People who feel good about themselves will produce good results".
I agreed with that...same as in my situation. Once the issue is settled....we all can move on, good for everyone.

I have a dream....

I want to be happy and lucky like my honey if I can....I know I can becoz my honey wants me to succeed in my life so that we can share our life together forever.....we will have time to smell the flowers, look at beautiful views from the mountains and seaside, check-out my honey's cousins....hehehe the monkeys!!! and eat nice foods. So so so many things to do and to share when you have your soulmate with you....no more loneliness and only beautiful and happy times ahead....what a beautiful dream?
Want to share this dream with me? Life indeed can be simple....if we can look at each other's beautiful side. Why think of our past? That can only cause pain and jealousy....why not look into the future with confidence that you are worth the trouble to live for. You can make the different and you can change your own mindset to make a beautiful dream into real thing....only you can make it happen if only you want to or not. You have a choice!
Past....we have our fair share of screwed ups and succuss. No one here can said for sure that one's future is the same as one's past. That is a simple way to condemn a person....things change, people change. Have faith in yourself that you too can change the person u love to be a better person that u always wish for....love can move mountain if you try hard enough....a test of yourself too of your power of love, to see how deep and how much pain u are willing to go thru, not easy to love but not hard if you want to.
Present....we still do silly things at times and not even aware of doing so. Man can be old but not wise or smart like with woman too. Age....is only a barrier in the mind and is up to you to handle it.
Future.....can be great if you want and wish for it hard enough. That is why....there is god. He is there for all who believe and trust in him. So you must know what you want and wish hard for it.....see god's message. hehehe. Do something about it....by having faith in yourself and the one u love. It is a good start!!! Try it!!!

Time to move on....

Well....whether I like it or not, life move on with or without me. So no choice but to pick myself up and follow with the flow of life. My living moments are liken to a river's flow....sometimes fast sometimes slow and at times "blocked". But still at the end of it....I still have to continue to find my way to the sea, one way or the other. That's life. Once to the open sea......die! Still life goes on....same way as the seawater vapourates and turn into a cloud then rain at the mountains.....again form into a small stream to find it's way back to the open sea.....round and round, life flows and edds. Some of us become great others....just live and to make up the numbers in this world of ours.
I was driving to work....and many things were in my mind until I saw the setting sun....so beautiful yet no one stop to look at it as it slowly sink into darkness. That sort of wake me up....to think of the beautiful things in my life past, present and hopefully in the future. But only we are clear about the past....can only think back
and smile. Present....it is a test most of the times, and looking back at some of the choices I made I can only hope for the best....time will tell the results and I will have to live with that. winsome, losesome.
Still confused? well...I slow down, take stock and move on again....maybe change direction? I will see and decide again when I reach the X-road again.....life is simple....says who?

God's massage

God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No. Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I would chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too, you know.
Me: I don't know. But I can't seem to find free time. Life has become so hectic. It's rush hour for me all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure a way out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then again, there is so much pain due to uncertainty...
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamonds cannot be polished without friction.
Gold cannot be purified without fire.
Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better, not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests?
Why can't we be free from problems?
God: Problems are purposeful roadblocks offering beneficial lessons to enhance mental strength.
Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading...
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside.
Looking outside, you dream.
Looking inside, you awaken.
Eyes provide sight.
Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure as decided by others.
Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, "Why me?"
When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?"
Everyone wishes to have truth on his or her side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.
God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Time and time again....still learning.

At times I don't feel like talking and at other times, got to get it out of the chest.....yes! I too know something is best not to be said....just keep it quiet and let it die down naturally. This is old wisdom. Guess I am not a wise guy and is far from being one.
Noticed at times, even things played tricked on us.....shit! spent money and time to arrange to go to China. But at the end of it, all screwed up even at the start just one day after confirming it by paying fot it fully. Now even if I want to back out, I got to get only 50% of the total sum paid.....shit!!! Worst during the arranging for it, it causes me endless headache and misunderstanding with my honey..... because I was really acting like a big sotong due to the short time I have to book and get my annaul leave approved.....especially at this trying moment at the company. I must also have a great reason to get clearance to go from boss....
Then....shit! everything just screwed up....kena "fucked". Man! this is the price to pay for it. Can only hope to get this over with and I can start a new chapter with my honey again....I accepted the shits that comes out of this situation.

Just give up....

Man! Thought poor thing was having a terrible time and pow!!!......out off the blue, things are back to sq one. Just tried figuring about people's thinking is harder than get the 1st prize in toto. Especially if the subject is a female......man oh man, so so fickle in their thinking. One day .....everything was wrong and the world was so cruel and bad after awhile when period over.....shit!! rainbow and silver lining suddenly re-appeared. If this is not a good example of fickleness....I don't know how to call it.
There are more for me to learn I guess......even after I am gone I still won't be able to give any answer to this issue....no end as long as there are still female around. Another example I can think of...is that they are like osama....out to seek revenge or justice for some wrongs they can think of at the moment, so easy for them to forget about the happy and good times. Can only focus on the negative and unhappy stuff whenever they felt like......worst during the start of their period.
Guess...in fact, I know I will get into trouble for this. But something got to be said....sort of getting it off my chest, hate it if I have to pretend and live with it.

Getting louso....hahaha

man! feel strongly about some issues so become louso....hehehe.

Man and woman thing.....is like chicken and egg issue!

yeah...no end to it and no answer for it too...who should understand who? Who should give way to who? Women claim that they are very emotional then men....heartless no feeling animals? That will depend on who is asking and who is listening....but the answer is not a good one for anyone.
When women see men talking or seeing another woman....they get jealous but when they do the same, they don't even aware that they are doing the same as what they complaint about....if the men love the women then the men too will be jealous. Except that men don't say it out loud...but it hurts the same inside the heart. So once this cycle starts...it is the beginning of the end of a relationship unless both agreed to put a stop to this playing game.
Men's jealousy are just as bad....take it from me, I should know. For me, I will just shut up and pretend nothing happen but comes "paupau" time....all out humping. So it is still not a healthy thing....hope everyone is sensitive to the other party. That is better.
Man! nothing expect myself to be in this topic.....but got to add my 2 cents worth of comment to this issue.
Everyone has feeling....respect it! and don't always expect that what you do is 100% right.
Just no way....as a relationship get longer, it gets harder to have a butterfly in stomach feeling anymore. Until one day...if still not careful, wake up and you ask yourself who the hell is sleeping besides you....suddenly you don't really know and understand the person any more. But this feeling is actually common after the relationship has gone south.........
then it is all up to you to think and reflect what make you click in the first place. What you should do to get that butterfly feeling or you can always choose to give up everything. Easiest to give up....then you are a loser becoz this will happen in the future after a while too with other relationship....it is a cycle, an never ending cycle.
You choose the outcome....to this game!
It happens to all...no escape just when and how you handle the issue.