Sound advices....for men?

Sex Advices....why some men failed at sex!

1. NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out non essentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. ( I am a kisser...so shouldn't be a problem for me )

2. BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts. ( I don't do this )

3. NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin, which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance. ( one of my mistake ....hehehe, always thot the girl will love it. I am wrong )

4. SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them. ( another of my mistake...esp thot doing it, is the right way becoz tends to get a respond...how wrong )

5. BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't. ( ok...I will be more gentle here....hehehe )

6. TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points. ( well...got to learn not to over twiddle until the nipple drop off....hahaha )

7. IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breast Ville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body, which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention. ( this I know....from other website, have already put in practice, Man! one right...still got hope )

8. GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off. ( yes...it happened before, hehehe some bras are like traps to me )

9. LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it. ( I always practice safe sex...no issue here )

10. ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoies . ( I will be careful with this the next time )

11. STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not. ( walau....start all over again? I will remember this )

12. UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy. ( okay...I will be careful with this )

13. GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not. ( I am well aware of this )

14. BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA. Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it. ( ya...I can do this )

15. MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not. ( hahaha....okay, good advice )

16. UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons. ( hahaha...yes! a wake-up call for me )

17. TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first. ( I can imagine how silly I will look like in this situation....hehehe )

18. GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel lie an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts. ( I am okay with this )

19. GOING TOO HARD. If you bash your great triangular hipbones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds. ( can...I know )

20. COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too. ( not a issue with me....hehehe )

21. NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man. ( no problem too )

22. ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask. ( may be one of my mistake ....won't repeat the next time )

23. PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris. ( can...do )

24. NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her. ( will be careful too )

25. NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like seawater mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary. ( no problem...I prefer to shoot into her bottom hole anyway )

26. MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head. ( happen sometime...got carried away )

27. TAKING ETTIQUETTE ADIVE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do. ( maybe when not careful )

28. MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest. ( yes...I can be lazy ma )

29. ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse. ( hahaha....never thot of it this way, good excuse )

30. TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them. ( no way with me )

31. NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no. ( sex toy....count? )

32. SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINT HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest. ( only if I am too full...or after a heavy meal )

33. ARANGING HER IN STUPID POSES . If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings. ( maybe over excited )

34. LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't....I didn't this one. ( I will remember this )

35. GIVING LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end. ( not in the habit )

36. BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on. ( also not in the habit )

37. TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know ( maybe...once in a while )

38. NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you. ( I am well aware of this....don't happen to me, becoz I always want a repeat...so I will do a good job ....pride or male ago thing with me )

39. SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue. ( I am well aware to of this issue )

40. THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen ( might be my problem...yes! it sounds too weird too ...could be my fault )

Disclaimer - hehehe....have fun reading this, I copied from the internet. Yeah...I am also enlighten by these and I hope I don't make the same mistakes the next time.